Lyrics While I'm Alive - Shius

In the blinding light, I couldn't open my eyes
See the things I felt, no matter how I tried
I was rapidly approaching what I thought was the end
But when I opened my eyes, I saw what it all meant
In the ceiling of time, I touched my demons at last
I saw a person crying, as they clutched on my past
Body, molded and dark, with a shadow overcast
I saw another me die, when I opened my eyes

I wish I knew what it meant, when you had told me goodbye
I wish that I was awake, don't wanna see you cry
This was all a mistake, I never meant to make you sad
When I wake up again, I will forget I ever had
All the love that you gave me, all the people I trust
I could never repay them, all I did was fuck up
When I wake up again, I will have nothing to say
When I wake up again

I lie idly in bed, its dark and I can't see
My hands are shaking and I know that I am hearing things
Sounds beside my bed feels faint as if I'm still dreaming
But when I opened my eyes I saw your shadow
Then there was an agony, like a scar that had opened
I saw you tearing through my skin and reaching into me
There was my beating heart, followed by flatlining signals
My vision stayed the same as if I had already died
And all the time that I'd trusted you, you stayed the same
Never changing and stable, like a pillar of hope
But as you gripped my beating heart you smiled and you said
Something I couldn't hear without me breaking down inside
Details are hazy, but I was sure that you said it
Even while changing into people who I never knew
You put my heart in your pocket, and turned away from me
Last thing I screamed out when I woke was that I loved you

Another day another nightmare, that's fair
Another day I get to deal with trauma I never caused
Another day and I am elsewhere, I swear
When I am finally free, I won't be in between
The pain I feel and what's real, I know how bad it feels
When you can't even see whats right there and present
I cannot feel the difference between all the colors and grey
My heads a fucking mess but I am not your patient

I wish I knew what it meant, when you had told me goodbye
I wish that I was awake, don't wanna see you cry
This was all a mistake, I never meant to make you sad
When I wake up again, I will forget I ever had
All the love that you gave me, all the people I trust
I could never repay them, all I did was fuck up
When I wake up again, I will have nothing to say
When I wake up again

While I'm alive, I'll find a way
While I'm awake, I'll face another day
While my heart keeps up, I will change and grow
So I can say that I love you so

And now I'm finally awake, and you're right by my side
With a worried glance, you took my hand as I sighed
Sometimes I'm mad at you, sometimes you make me sad
But through the thick and thin, you've made me better

I wish I knew what it meant, when I dreamt of goodbyes
I wish I'd stay awake, so I'd never leave your side
Things will be okay, I will be alright
Things will stay the same, I will be just fine
All the love that you gave me, all the people I trust
I will one day repay them, I will one day live up
When I wake up again, I'll have you by my side
When I wake up again, I won't fuck up this time