Lyrics Dog Treat - Tom Waits

Thanks, uh... You know uh, this is weird uh.
Most of us have dogs, all right? (applause)
I don't know if it's a local thing where I live,
Or if it's everywhere, and I'm checking it with you because uh,
I don't get in the area that often and I'm just checking to see if.
There's a new kind of a dog treat.
And uh (where I live) and they're available in the pet store and for
The longest time I just thought that
It was some kind of a prank. Or uh.
I wasn't really sure what it was,
Until I read the label on the back
And it said "Bull Penis" (laughter)
I was a little shocked!
I know you can get just about ANYTHING in this world
You can get a whale's pancreas if you'd
Want one! I can get you one! (laughter)
But com'on, a bull's penis! How busy they were their whole lives
And they throw it to a dog, like that, for a snack! (laughter)
Now, are they available here in the
Los Angeles area? They are, aren't they?
Doesn't that make you a little weazy?
Makes you wanna live a long time
And on the back, on the bottom it said: "100% natural"!
I mean... that's the part that really
Got me. And it said: "A Real Meat Snack"
There's just no dignity in that. Uh, anyway.
The other thing is that they're 36 inches long! (laughter)
They're so long they had to cut them into bite-size portions
And then they take two of them and braid them together
I know, I know! I never want it done. But uh.
This is a song written for Gregory Peck for his dating my mom.
That's a lie!