Lyrics The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything - VeggieTales

And now it's time for Silly Songs With Larry
The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song
Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt
Who together make up the infamous gang of scallywags
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

We are the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you, we don't do anything!

Well, I've never been to Greenland
And I've never been to Denver
And I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul
And I've never been to Moscow
And I've never been to Tampa
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

'Cause we're the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you, we don't do anything

And I never hoist the mainstay
And I never swab the poop deck
And I never veer to starboard 'cause I never sail at all
And I've never walked the gangplank
And I've never owned a parrot
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

'Cause we're the pirates who don't do anything
We just stay at home and lie around
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you, we don't do anything

Well, I've never plucked a rooster
And I'm not too good at ping-pong
And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall
And I've never kissed a chipmunk
And I've never gotten head lice
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

Huh? What are you talking about?
What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate?
Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about piratey things! (Oh)
And who's ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense!
Why even bring it up?
Am I right?
What do you think?
I think you look like Captain Crunch!
Huh? No, I don't!

Do too
Do not
You're making me hungry
That's it, you're walkin' the plank!
Says who?
Says the Captain, that's who!
Oh, yeah? Aye, aye, Captain Crunch!
Argh!
Yikes!

And I've never licked a spark plug
And I've never sniffed a stink bug
And I've never painted daisies on a big, red rubber ball
And I've never bathed in yogurt
And I don't look good in leggings (you just don't get it!)
And we've never been to Boston in the fall!

Pass the chips
Who's got the remote control?
Here it is!
Time for Geraldo!
It's definitely time for Wapner
Oh, I don't like this show
Hey, look! I found a quarter!