Lyrics Poopin' On The Enterprise (Monologue) - Voltaire
Anybody
here
a
Star
Trek
fan?
I
love
Star
Trek
so
much,
but
man
they
sure
make
some
shit
up
on
that
show
It′s
just
unbelievable
to
me
They're
like
bouncing
graviton
beams
off
the
main
deflector
array
They′re
like
creating
rifts
in
the
timespace
continuum
And
yet,
and
yet
not
one
toilet
on
the
entire
Enterprise,
not
one
Do
these
people
not
poop?
Like
in
forty
years
of
Star
Trek
no
one
has
ever
said:
"Shit
I
gotta
go
to
the
bathroom".
What
I
wouldn't
give
to
see
that
one
episode:
The
Poop
Episode.
I
imagine
it
would
be
something
like
this,
You
know
like
the
Klingons
are
attacking
and
Picard's
on
the
bridge
and
he′s
like:
"Worf,
you′re
needed
on
the
bridge!"
"I
can't
come
to
the
bridge
right
now
captain"
"Worf,
that′s
insubordination,
I
need
you
up
here
immediately!"
"I'm
in
the
latrine
captain"
"Oh
dear
me,
I′m
sorry,
well
you
know
get
up
here
as
soon
as
you
can"
And
then
of
course
you
know
Riker's
gotta
waddle
over:
"Did
you
ask
him
if
it
was
a
number
one
or
a
number
two?"
"Dear
God
I.!
No
I
did
not
ask
him
if
it
was
a-...
Worf
is
it
a
number
one
or
a
number
two?"
"It′s
a
number
two!
Arg,
Sword
of
Kahless!
It's
got.
it's
got
ridges!
Arg...
Perhaps
today
is
a
good
day
to
die!"
This
turd
has
no
honor.
1 Ex-Lover's Lover (Live Version)
2 Zombie Prostitute (Live Version)
3 Brains! (Live Version)
4 God Thinks (Live Version)
5 Zombie Jesus (Monologue)
6 Goodnight Demonslayer (Live Version)
7 X-Mass (Monologue)
8 Comin' Out For Christmas (Live Version)
9 Poopin' On The Enterprise (Monologue)
10 The USS Make Shit Up (Live Version)
11 Sexy Data Tango (Live Version)
12 Lucas Is A Noodler (Monologue)
13 Cantina (Live Version)
14 The Vampire Club (Live Version)
15 Austin, Texas (Monologue)
16 When You're Evil (Live Version)
17 Hell In A Handbasket (Live Version)
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