Lyrics crumbling / suicide note - convolk

I wish that I could find another way
But I am not alive, already dead
So long before I

I wish you knew how I feel
About you, about you
Don't think it's sad too
Sad too
Suffer I'm glad too
Glad too
I'm crumbling down
I am still stuck in this town
Life of a letdown
Letdown
Jumping to get down
Get down

And I need some help
As for it, no chance it help
Laugh at it, after we fail
But I can't get up again
Do some more to sober up
Five-cards wants to blow me up
Falling is the best of fun
The last look at this gun

Every room in my house is a fucking mess
I wanna paint the wall with a shotgun blast
Maybe that's what it takes to wake up my friends
Hope you know what you were missing then
I wanna write a note that makes my friends cry

Write a note that makes my friends cry
Really makes me wanna take my life
Take my life

(Hey, uhm... it's me and I don't really know how to say this, but...)
(I don't think uhm...)
(I'll be coming home tonight, and I just wanted to let you know that)
(It's not your fault and I love you a lot. Uhh...)
(You know I've been thinking about this for a)
(While and I... settled on it y'know so I love you)