Hello Mother Hello Father

Hello mother, hello father
Here I am at Camp Granada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining

I went hiking with Joe Spivey
He developed poison ivy
You remember Lennard Skinard
He got ptomain poisoning last night after dinner

All the counselors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called 'Ulysses'

No, I don't want this should scare ya
But my bunkmate has malaria
You remember Jeffrey Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party

Take me home, oh mother, father
Take me home, I hate Granada
Don't leave me out in the forest
Where I might get eaten by a bear

Take me home, I promise I will not make noise
Or mess the house with other boys
Oh, please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day

Dearest father, darling mother
How's my precious little brother
Let me come home if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me

Wait a minute, it stopped hailing
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that's better
Mother, father, kindly disregard this letter