Old Age Pension Check

When our old age pension check comes to our door,
We won't have to dread the poor house anymore.
Though we're old and thin and gray,
Good times will be back to stay,
When our old age pension check comes to our door.
When her old age pension check comes to her door,
Dear old grandma won't be lonesome any more.
She'll be waiting at the gate,
Every night she'll have a date,
When her old age pension check comes to her door.

Grow a flowing long white beard and use a cane,
'Cause you're in your second childhood, don't complain.
Life will just begin at sixty,
We'll all feel very frisky,
When our old age pension check comes to our door.

Powder and paint will be abolished on that day,
And hoop skirts will then be brought back into play.
Painted cheeks will be the rage,
And old maids will tell their age,
When their old age pension check comes to their door.

All the drug stores will go bankrupt on that day,
For cosmetics, they will all be put away.
I'll put a flapper on the shelf,
Get a grandma for myself,
When her old age pension check comes to her door.

There's a man that turned this country upside-down
With his old age pension rumor going 'round.
If you want in on the fun,
Send your dime to Washington,
And that old age pension man will be around.