Текст песни Calculatus Eliminatus (The Way to Find a Missing Something is to Find Out Where It's Not) - Allan Sherman
When
you
mislaid
a
certain
something
Keep
your
cool
and
don't
get
hot
Calculatus
Eliminatus
is
the
best
friend
that
you've
got
Calculatus
Eliminatus
always
helps
an
awful
lot
The
way
to
find
a
missing
something
is
to
find
out
where
it's
not
It
isn't
here
I'll
mark
this
"X"
It
isn't
there
I'll
mark
that
"Y"
It
isn't
underneath
the
apple
Mark
the
apple
"HKI"
It
isn't
in
this
keyhole
It
isn't
on
my
knee
Mark
the
keyhole
"K300"
Mark
the
knee
"57B"
We
just
jot
down
all
the
places
where
it
isn't
and
gee
whiz
Very
shortly
we
were
looking
where
the
missing
object
is
It
isn't
here
842-J
It
isn't
there
F607
You
can
mark
the
piano
"22
thousand
decimal
point
11"
It
isn't
in
the
icebox
It's
not
on
this
TV
Icebox,
0-2-4
1/2
TV,
1,000,003
When
you
mislaid
a
certain
something
Keep
your
cool
Don't
go
to
pot
Calculatus
Eliminatus
is
the
best
friend
that
you've
got
Calculatus
Eliminatus
always
helps
an
awful
lot
The
way
to
find
a
missing
something
Is
to
find
out
where
it's
not
1 Camp Granada (Hello Mudder, Hello Fadder, Here I Am at Camp Grenada)
2 Ringo (Beatles Drummer Ringo Starr) And Pop Hates the Beatles
3 On the First Day of Christmas
4 Hungarian Goulash Number Five (Hungarian Goulash No. 5)
5 Eight Foot Two Solid Blue (Has Anybody Seen My Martian Gal)
6 Downtown (You Teenagers Go Downtown)
7 Headaches Headaches
8 Here's to the Crabgrass, Here's to the Mortgage (In Fact Here’s to Suburbia)
9 You’re Getting to be a Rabbit with Me (You Once Were the Best Bunny at the Playboy Club)
10 You Went the Wrong Way Old King Louie
11 Hello Mudder Hello Fadder, I Am Back At Camp Granada
12 I Was Never a Nazi (And Never Knew Adolf Hitler)
13 Hail to Thee Fat Person (How I Got Fat)
14 It Was Automation, I Know
15 One Hippopotami (Cannot Get on a Bus)
16 I See Bones (The Doctor Was Looking at the X - Ray)
17 Rattfink, Ratfink
18 My Son the Vampire: Spooky Halloween Song
19 There Are Pills That Make You Happy, There Are Pills That Make You Sad
20 I Call This Land America, A Nice Italian Name
21 You Gotta Have Skin (All You Really Need Is Skin)
22 Good Advice Costs Nothing And It's Worth The Price
23 Holiday for States (A Love Song for the Whole United States)
24 I'm Doctor Prentiss, The Painless Dentist
25 Go to Sleep, Go to Sleep Paul Revere (Please Don't Make All That Noise Around Here)
26 Laarge Daark Aardvark Song (The Large Dark Ardvark Song)
27 Call Me, Call Me
28 I'm On the Drinking Man's Diet, And I'm Half Stoned
29 One I Had a Secret Code
30 Chim Chim Cheree
31 Signs (My Love Gave Me a Sign)
32 Second Hand Nose (Like Barbra Streisand's Second Hand Rose)
33 Mononucleosis Is the Kissing Disease Virus
34 Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy
35 Mexican Hat Dance (Mexicans Dance on Their Hats)
36 Harvey & Shiela (Hava Nagila)
37 Tit Willow (The Bronx Bird Watcher)
38 Pop Hates the Beatles (Pop Goes the Weasel)
39 Hello Mother Hello Father (A Letter from Camp Granada)
40 Cat in the Hat (Aka Chat Chapeau, I'm a Cat in a Hat)
41 Calculatus Eliminatus (The Way to Find a Missing Something is to Find Out Where It's Not)
42 It Can Be Done (Anything Anything Anything Under the Sun)
43 I'm a Punk (Nobody Loves Me, Not One Tiny Hunk)
44 Gradunza (Moss - Covered Three - Handled Family Grudunza)
45 Sweep Sweep Up the Memories
46 Beautiful Kittenfish, Sleep Baby Sleep
47 Nothing to Be Done (How Can You Have Fun When There's Nothin' to Be Done?)
48 The Sneetches
49 Green Eggs and Ham (Sam I Am)
50 Tale of the Zax
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