Текст песни Sad Clown Interlude - Camira the Rapper

I'm 31, and have anxiety
Severe depression within the mind of me
Got me thinking suicidally
Just to wake up, it's a fight
And bro this shit is frightening
I, feel the devil tightening
His grip, and stripping life from me
Every day is a dark night for me
A new agenda my friend's can hide from me
I know they won't admit it
Because I know they won't confide in me
My mind's got me convinced
That those I love will fucking lie to me
Like, they like me and wanna ride with me
But they've distain for this very side of me
See, I've been thinking about ending it
Mac don't think that that's inside of me
I've danced around taking this L
That's just Fortnite in me
I've been looking for substitutes
Like, drug abuse for these trust issues
No, time for me to rescue myself
Because I comfort you
For fuck sake
Why is this what I'm going through?
Everything's an obstacle
And, everything feels horrible
Nothingness
That's all I feel, nothingness
Hatred and contempt for myself
And nothing less, ahhh
Am I broken inside?
Please say you've got a fix
Or atleast tell me the answer
To what my problem is
Why am I this way?
Bro, I never wanted this
All I ever wanted was normalcy
Like them other kids
Father issues
I never met my real Dad
But, I don't wanna use it as a crutch
To make you feel bad
He turned his back
Now, consequently I can't deal, man
Now, I know that I can't hurt my mother
More than guilt has
My brother messaged me on "R U OK?" Day
And I ain't like that
Instead, I just deleted the text
I didn't write back
I appreciate the sentiment and thought
That date can bring
But, I was mad he waited until that day
To even say a thing
See I've been so fucked up
I had to leave the scene
And complete these dreams
In another life, or when I'm feeling me
Which is never
But while I tried to catch a breath
I pushed my brothers away and out the '6
I barely have a set
It's so complex
And I'll save it for another time
I ain't gonna say
Whether it's justified or wasn't right
So take a second to listen
And stare me in my fucking eyes
Coz, to you, I'm another broke rapper
To me, I'm just guy