Welcome

On the TV someone's running
As the helicopter cam zooms in
And they superimpose green arrows
Google Earth it to the head of a pin

She said "There behind the police tape
Seen it all with my eyes and ears
I was talking to my friend Charlie
And then Charlie disappeared"

Welcome, welcome
Come and have some fun
Got every Chinese toy
Under the sun
And every Ponzi scheme
That ever has been run
And old men with hard-ons
And mad men with guns

And I heard you made some threats
Against me and my family
And I got a gun from a kindly neighbor lady
And I made it known that one stab
In the wrong direction
I'd shoot you in the back
With no hesitation

Welcome, welcome
Come and have some fun
Got every Chinese toy
Under the sun
And every Ponzi scheme
That ever has been run
And old men with hard-ons
And mad men with guns

And who's doing who and where's a fire
And who do you think is juicing
And the rats and the zombies
And the alien pigs
Which field should we turn you loose in
Monkeys in captivity
IKEA in the Amazon

What's in your wallet
And which side are you on

Can anyone still stand up
Or are we all just too ground down
Trying to make it through the day
Without your ass getting handed back to you in town

Sitting on the freeways
And the buses and the trains
Praying you can get the kids inside
Before it rains

Welcome, welcome
Come and have some fun
Got every Chinese toy
Under the sun
And every Ponzi scheme
That ever has been run
And old men with hard-ons
And mad men with guns

Stadiums, palladiums
Prison second to none
And old men with hard-ons
And mad men with guns