I drink

I drink to drive away
All the years I have hated
The ambitions frustrated
That no longer survive
I drink day after day
To the chaos behind me
I drink to remind me
That I still am alive
So I give you a toast
To the endless confusions
To the lies and illusions
That have swallowed my life
I give you a toast
To the wine and the roses
To the deadly cirrhosis
That can cut like a knife
I drink to catch a gleam
Of the love we degraded
Of a light that is faded
Like the vanishing moon
I drink as in a dream
To my waning desires
To the passionate fires
That have burnt out too soon
Yes, I drink and I drown
In the promise you made me
Of the times you betrayed me
In your anger and spite
When you took to the town
When you looked for the action
When you took satisfaction
Like a whore in the night!
I drink to make believe
That my life is worth living
The gods are forgiving
At the end of the day
I drink because I grieve
For the dreams when we started
For the innocent heart
Who got lost on the way
For the children unborn
For their dead phantom faces
For our sterile embraces
In the cool of our bed
Yes, I drink and I'm born
For the harvest that failed
For the ship that has sailed
For the hope that is dead!
I drink to find a place
Where the darkness can hide me
To the terror inside me
And at last disappear
I drink, to my disgrace
Till oblivion claims me
Till there's nothing that shames me
Till I'm blind to my fear
Yes, I drink till I burst
In my own degradation
To the edge of damnation
That is waiting below
I drink with a thirst
That destroys and depraves me
It engulfs and enslaves me
It will never let go
I drink till I'm lost
And sleep is my hideout
Where I vomit my pride out
Till I'm gasping for breath
I drink to count the cost
Of a life I despair for
Till God hears my prayer for
The compassion of death
So I spit out my bile
For the gods who demean us
For the silence between us
For the love none can save
For the life that is vile
For a soul that is ailing
For a body that's failing
As it heads for the grave
I drink without a care
I drink because I must
I drink to my despair
I drink to your disgust
I drink, God knows I drink
Yes, I drink!