Текст песни Oprah Winfrey vs Ellen DeGeneres - Epic Rap Battles of History

Epic Rap Battles of History!
Ellen Degeneres!
Vs!
Oprah Winfrey!
Begin!

Hey, God. It's me, Ellen. Can I ask you a question?
How do I tell my friend Oprah she's
Gonna get more whipped than Stedman?
I'll make head spin! When it comes to rhymes, I got a penchant!
So if battling me is your intention,
I better mention; you're 'bout to get licked by a lesbian!
Oh! I'll knock you off your throne! Take a shot at everything you OWN!
I got the skill to make Doctor Phil say:
I think you better just leave her alone.
You can tell Rachael Ray that my favorite recipe is
Chopping Oprah Winfrey up into a million little pieces!

I'm the Queen of TV, and I'm here to destroy ya,
So check under your seat, because I got something for ya!
You can't even hope to be as half as dope as Oprah!
I'll attract my hands around your throat and Deepak choke ya!
Girl, your show's a petting zoo. You do a week on kittens,
And you dance like a chicken who snuck into Drunk Kitchen!
You played a fish with brain damage. I'm a nominated actress!
Name's synonymous with power; spell it forwards or backwards!

Yes, you've got that power (power!),
And yes, I've got those kittens! (Kittens!)
I also feature puppies, talented children and mittens!
I like cute things that make people smile,
Make everybody feel good for a while!
Do a little dance and the crowd goes wild!
Kick you right back to the Miracle Mile!
I though I told ya, your daytime reign is over!
I'm jumping over Oprah like I'm Tom Cruise on a sofa!
From ABC to LGBT
To NBC and now it's all me!
I'm the best emcee and the biggest star,
And I'll bite you in the ass like the tax on a free car!

Your mouth is writing checks your mullet can't cash, lady!
I'll lodge my fabulous shoe up your suit pants, baby!
You follow my lead 'cause I paved the road for ya!
You drive behind me in a secondhand Porsche!
Check the Fortune 500; I'm a media wonder!
The Dalai Lama and Obama memorized my cell number!
Try to beef with me, I'll make the whole market crash, honey!
Once you go Oprah, you can't go back!

Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
Epic Rap Battles of History!