Heavy - NO:EL перевод на английский

Heavy

무거워
무서워
숨어 지냈던 밤들 사이
두려워
빌어줘 good luck

Mama, finally came to home
But lotta shit been change
I feel too heavy
무거워

혼자 들긴 버거워 변명은 어렸어
길을 찾긴 어려워 기억해 넌 날 버렸어
믿는다는 게 말은 쉽지
힘들다던데 난 이미
이쁘장한 미소 따윈 안 믿지
기분만 더러웠던 매일이
참 쉽게 뱉었었던 어디야
그 한마디가 어려워질 줄 몰랐단 말이야

바닥을 향해 가는 이 기분은 바닥나고
선택지가 많아진 이 세상은 out of control
넌 잘못 걸린 거야 입 닥치고 미움받아
상처를 주고받는 말을 반복 대형사고

말 까지마 이 새꺄 날 언제 봤다고
무례는 기본 plus 니 모독 can't not keep shit gentle

Anymore
제일 싫은 말이 원래 사는 게 다 그래 원래
원래 그래가
대체 뭔 헛소리냐고
그래 너는 너
Dumb as fuck
끼리끼리 fools

무거워
무서워
숨어 지냈던 밤들 사이에
나 두려워
빌어줘 good luck

(Hey!) Mama, finally came to home
But lotta shit been change
I feel too heavy
무거워

2015.12.06이 내 첫 이별
그 나이에 들었던 영정사진을
어떻게 잊어
나는 막내 꼴에
형 소리 갖다 붙이냐
말도 안 되는 핑계로
쌩깠던 장례식에
내가 장남 역할을 하는 게 말이 돼?
호로새끼란 말로 다 표현이 안되네
양심에 좆박은 놈 뒤지길 바래
펜대 굴리고 대학가니 니 거 같아
이 세상이 만만해 간단해
더러운 피 그건 유전인가

할아버지 받던 시절 항암
큰엄마란년 도와주는 척이라도 했냐
우리 엄마 왜 고생해 혼자서 맨날

보내드리던 날
시아버지는 2번째 아버지라며
눈시울 붉히던 사람 그 사람은 아직도
불만 하나 없이 생각 추억해 옛날

돌연변이었지 이 집에서
특출 난 게 없어 몸으로 때워도
좀 더러워졌어도
은혜를 갚진 못해도
잊지 않아 적어도

어디쯤이신가요 내가 사랑했던 사람
지은 죄가 많아서 피하게만 돼도 나는 항상
가슴 안에 살아 숨 쉬는
마지막 생각만 해도 붉어지는 눈시울

난 완벽하지 못해서
아니 애초부터 가진 게 있어도 부족했어
그래서 떠나야만 했나 봐
장난 같은 각오 난 그렇게 살지 않아

무거워
무서워
숨어 지냈던 밤들 사이에
두려워
빌어줘 good luck

Mama, I finally came to home
But lotta shit been change
I feel too heavy
무거워

Heavy

It's heavy
I'm scared
Between the nights I hid in
I'm afraid
Pray for good luck

Mama, finally came home
But a lot of shit has changed
I feel too heavy
It's heavy

It's too much to bear alone, excuses were childish
It's hard to find a way, remember, you abandoned me
Believing is easy to say
I'm already struggling, you say it's hard
I don't trust pretty smiles
Every day was just unpleasant
I easily spat out, where was it?
I didn't know that one word would become so difficult

This feeling of falling to the bottom is exhausting
This world with many choices is out of control
You're messing up, shut your mouth and get hated
Repeating words that hurt and receive wounds, a major accident

Don't talk, you bastard, when have you ever seen me?
Rudeness is basic, plus your insults, can't keep things gentle

Anymore
The most hated saying is, "That's just life, that's how it is"
That's just how it is
What nonsense are you talking about?
Yeah, you're you
Dumb as fuck
Birds of a feather, fools

It's heavy
I'm scared
Between the nights I hid in
I'm afraid
Pray for good luck

(Hey!) Mama, finally came home
But a lot of shit has changed
I feel too heavy
It's heavy

December 6, 2015, was my first breakup
At that age, I heard about a death portrait
How can I forget?
I was the youngest, yet
They called me "hyung" (older brother)?
Silly excuses
I skipped the funeral
Does it make sense that I played the role of the eldest son?
Words can't express how much of a jerk he was
I hope that scumbag rots in hell
Writing and going to university, it feels like yours
This world is easy, simple
Is dirty blood hereditary?

Grandfather receiving cancer treatment
Did that great-aunt even pretend to help?
Why did my mom struggle alone all the time?

The day we sent him off
My father-in-law said he was like a second father
That person is still
Content and reminiscing about the old days without complaint

I was the odd one out in this family
I didn't excel at anything, even if I filled the gaps with my body
Even if I had gotten a little dirtier
I couldn't repay the kindness, but
I won't forget it, at least

Where are you now, the person I loved?
I've committed so many sins, even avoiding me is enough
You live and breathe inside my heart
Just thinking about the last moments makes my eyes well up with tears

I'm not perfect
No, I was lacking even when I had everything
That's why I had to leave, I guess
I won't live with childish resolutions

It's heavy
I'm scared
Between the nights I hid in
I'm afraid
Pray for good luck

Mama, I finally came home
But a lot of shit has changed
I feel too heavy
It's heavy