Текст песни Calling Marty - Pearl Diver

"Now listen to me Marty...
The purpose is of this ah...
Of this telephonic communication is that I′ve been given to understand
That some uninvited junk is just floating around the streets of the hood...
Now not to put a too fine a point on this Marty
And to maybe borrow the words of the Coen brothers
You might think that what I've got to say to you is a little bit odd... odd... odd
Oh, no, no, no Marty, let me advise you the odds is when you find a human foot in your washing machine
All I′ve got to say to you is just slightly ah... slightly irregular
You see I've been listening to one of those Beethoven piano sonatas
And it's conjured up in my head a certain feeling of pacifism
I′m just all elastic pacifistic Marty
Awash with a feeling of love for my fellow man
But it concerns my heart, Mart... as I wipe this tear away
That the cacophonic bumping of your foot in my washing machine might
Just disturb the peaceful relations and rotations of the drum
But now as I say I′m just all heart, Mart
And I'm currently drumming my fingers on the table and contemplating your blood
Fountaining from your jugular all over the walls of my ′Smallbone of Devizes' kitchen units...
Turning the Italianate tiles simply red
Whilst listening to the beautiful soulful treble tones of a certain Michael Hucknell
And now what are we gonna do about this Mart...
I′m starting to feel a small connection with your left foot
Now I'm quite sure that you feel slightly connected to your left foot also
But my recently acquired little white Bosch number
With it′s 2000rpm spin-cycle is starting to feel a little lonely
It's feeling empty inside... it's just aching for a little something to purify
And your left foot replete with cheap nylon stocking housed
In fake china-made likely trainers is beginning to look wildly attractive
Now I′ve gotta go now Marty... this is not a Skype call you know
And Rachmaninov′s second piano concerto is just very quietly lining up on the BANG & OLUFSEN!
And I'm oozing love Mart from the depths of the ventricles of my soft beating Salvador Dali organ
Huh!... well ciao Marty... I gotta go now
With fondest love from you′re very... very... bestest... most newest friend
Peter J A Cripps"