Текст песни I F***ing Love Christmas (ft. Doug Walker) - Rob Scallon

I'm full of Christmas semen
I don't know what it is, but it's hot
It's like Heaven's orgasm
Inside an oatmeal cookie shot

And when I put my Santa hat on, it's a needle full of Christmas glee
Cloating my house with frealy shit
And Disney trademarked intellectual property

Cause it's snowing, I love shopping
And I fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fucking love Christmas
Setting up the lights so my fucking house sings
Cause I'm fucking batshit crazy about Christmas
If Christmas was living, I'd fuck it to death
And then, consume it's body for it's Christmas breath
Cause it's growing
I'm not stopping
And I fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fucking love Christmas

Ladies and gentleman, Jesus Christ on the electric guitar!

I'll buy all things red and green
Accumulating thousands in debt
I'll let it ruin my life
Making it the best Christmas yet
And I'll play those Christmas carols
Until my ears will bleed with Christmas cheer
It'll scare the shit out of you
But it's only getting bigger every year

Cause it's snowing, I love shopping
And I fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fucking love Christmas
I love those stop-motion shows that scare the shit out of me
Cause I'm fucking batshit crazy about Christmas
I bathe in hot chocolate until my skin is red
And I'll quote Christmas stories till your soul is dead
Cause I'm soaking in sweet toppings
And I fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fucking love Christmas
And the deals, and the veils and the meals and the steals at the Sears
Keep it longer
Make it stronger
Nothing's wrong here
I could stay here all year
I'm not crazy
Feeling hazy
Something's tasty at the Macy's downtown
Get a guide, by the wire
I'm inspired
I'm on fire right now

I love the over-marketing blues
I want to smash it open until it's stiff and cold and then search
It's brains for it's Christmas gold and
Then drink it's blood until I lose control
And the Christmas madness will take it's toll

It's snowing
I love shopping
And I fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fucking love Christmas
Enough to build tranquilizer immunity
I must be fucking batshit about...

I'll kill anyone not celebrating with me
Your resistance is feeding my insanity
Cause it's snowing, I like shopping
So, put the star upon the tree
And buy me a fucking TV
We're going on a shopping spree
My stocking fulled with DVDs
My heart's filling up with glee
Can't help what's coming over me
And I fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fucking love Christmas