Текст песни christmas eve - Sxdszn

There's a fire underneath me and it barely keeps me focused
Made me write this shit a thousand fucking times until I'm noticed
How the hell will I continue to progress through every stage
When the thought of you just circles through my mind like every day
Year ago I wrote a song about you called it ha- nah forget it
Know you hated every word, how could you be so apathetic
Makes me wanna bash my head in
Do not wanna think about it
You should know that I regret it everyday and every hour

But it eats me up that I could never tell you how I feel
And all the anger when I look into the mirror makes it real
I lost all of my self control, couldn't even think about it
Put my fist into the glass by blood was leaking in the shower
Get this ugly pensive feeling every time you come around me
So now when you say that you miss me why the fuck do I allow it

You pretend and fake care when I start to pull away
I take a chair i take a rope I place myself into a grave
But I guess I'm not prepared to take that fucking leap of faith
But everybody is a fake, and that's nothing to adore
And that's probably reason I can't be here anymore

Why I'm leaving all my friends when I'm supposed to be devoted
Why my family members passing and I couldn't show emotion
Why making music is the only thing that feels like ibuprofen
Yeah I fucking hate myself and now I ain't afraid to show it
Because I'm a fucking piece of shit and everybody knows it

"People can sometimes become stuck in their emotions. Nurturing and blowing it out of Proportion."