White People

This song is dedicated to a certain kind of people
Which just so happens to be my other favorite kind of people
You know, the ones that like to, you know
Hurt themselves bro? Skateboard Ollie bro, kickflip, split their lip bro?
Kick me in the nuts, bro? You get what I'm saying, right?

White people
I get bullied in school
I can't wait til I'm a cop so I can bully you
White people
Hey
White people
No no, we can't dance
And I don't whoop my kids or spank their hands
White people
(Bad Michael, bad, who's a bad Michael? Go to your room Michael)

If you poke me on my arm, I bruise easily
So I only quarterback in the Football League
I like to watch porn, I can fap for days
And my favorite potato chips are Lays (because they're white)
I take weird drugs like ecstasy
Mushrooms, Crystal Meth, and LSD

We put it in a pipe, or a homemade bong
And watch out for the priest, he will rape your son
And most of us will die trying out for Fear Factor
I guess that's why they say I'm just a country-loving
Deer-hunting, rabbit-eating, redneck, inbreeding, beer-drinking, small penis
(Did I mention we drive a tractor?)

We're red when we're mad, when we're sick, we're green
Only race in the world that eats sardines
White girls, flat butts, and I know that's mean
But if you try to eat the booty, taste like saltines
(Back far away from that anus)
A white woman came to me to bash my song
Until she realized I was black and then she zipped her purse?

White people
I get bullied in school
I can't wait 'til I'm a cop so I can bully you
White people
Hey
White people
No, no, we can't dance
And I don't whoop my kids or spank their hands
White people

(See this is probably why white kids end up shooting up schools)
Hey, hey

Hold up, hold up a second
We can't have a white song without any country music in it
Uh-umm-uh-huh, uh-umm-uh-huh-huh-huh, eyah
Say we all like country music, nawh-nah, no-hum-nawh
You never understand what we're saying, I'm on, nawh-nah-nawh-nah, nah-nahnah-nannah
But if you ever come to Texas
Come chill with me on my porch
'Cause we all got shotguns, and we all commute by horse
I said we have farms, we like to mosh
We like Family GUY and we like Tosh
(I guess my point here is if you're white we automatically like you) so little

White people
I get bullied in school
I can't wait 'til I'm a cop so I can bully you
White people
Hey
White people
Can't jump that high
So if you tryna lose the cops, find a fence nearby
White people
(Unless the cop is like, you know, Larry Bird or someone then don't try)

White people
Since 76, being jerks making other races look like shit
White people
(Seriously, all of us are racist)
White people
I know you can't stand me
But we all still evolved from a chimpanzee
White people
(So little), hey, hey

Alright, this is probably also the most racist song I've ever written
But if you laughed, you're racist too
So I don't feel bad, besides, it's not racist if I'm human
Get it? The human race? Ha, ha, ha, that's how white people laugh