Drag City Records

Drag City Records, who have released a number of my albums
They, uh, they got a certified letter the other day from city hall
The city of Chicago, ordering them to stop releasing my albums

Apparently, there's a landfill shortage in Clark County
And my albums are taking up too much space there in the ground
So, uh

But, but, you know, Drag City's always been good to me
I mean, they're very helpful I have to admit

I've had such bad luck with women since my divorce
That I actually tried placing an ad
In the singles section of my local paper
And I went down to the office and I said
"I'd like to place a personal ad"
And they asked me for a description of myself
You know, height, weight, interests, likes, dislikes
That sort of thing
And I really didn't know what to say

So I called Ryan over at Drag City, my contact person
And asked if he could put together
A little description of me for the newspaper

Well, two weeks later
I get a bill from the newspaper for fifteen hundred dollars
He'd sent them my promotional press packet
And at ten cents a word
That was an expensive personal ad
Let me tell ya
It took up 12 pages

And the odd thing is, no one ever called
Now, hold on, I got one call
But it was from a man
The stupid paper put my ad in the wrong category
But that's my

But anyway