Seven Elevens

You know, I've been all around the world
From Sydney to LA
You might say I'm a travelin' guy
It's how I earn my pay
There's one thing I can't figure out
And it occupies my brain
Have you noticed no matter where you go
Seven Elevens are all the same

You see folks, my bags comedy
I'm a humorist by trade
And so I stake my livelihood on observations made
But of all my bits my favorite
Is the one that brought me fame
Have you noticed no matter where you go
Seven Elevens are all the same

It don't matter where you go
Ask your man he'll tell you so
Take a bus or hop a plane
Seven Elevens are all the same
Flip a coin or pick a card
Travel near or travel far
It don't matter how you came
Seven Elevens are all the same

If you don't stop I'm gonna hang up
No no no no no no, Neil Hamburger, man
I don't have time
No no no no no no

Sometimes I think it's all a dream
But I know I'm wide awake
I've heard of brand identity
But this one takes the cake
Now, don't think I'm knocking it
I'm not one to place the blame
But you can't help but notice
No matter where you go
Seven Elevens are all the same

I'm sure it's just a matter of time
And I'm hoping that it's soon
When this expanding franchise
Will have an outlet on the moon
And I sure'd like to go there
Just so I can make this claim
You see, even in outer space
Seven Elevens are all the same

It don't matter where you go
Ask your man he'll tell you so
Take a bus or hop a plane
Seven Elevens are all the same
Flip a coin or pick a card
Travel near or travel far
It don't matter how you came
Seven Elevens are all the same

No matter where you go

Neil Hamburger's on the case
Head on up to outer space
No, my friends you're not insane
Seven Elevens are all the same
Satellite or rocket ship
Just be sure you make that trip
It don't matter how you came
Seven Elevens are all the same

You're not doing yourself any good
Yes I am, I'm Neil Hamburger
Okay
Listen, let me tell you this funny joke
No
You remember, remember Coke Classic?
Neil
Well, they're bringing it back
Shut up
Now it's just called Classic
I've got things to do
No no no, wait wait wait
You remember that movie Fatal Attraction?
Hello? Hello? Hello?