Lyrics Calculatus, Eliminatus - Allan Sherman

The Fish: Very well then, Dr.
Calculatus, find it and eliminatus yourself
The Cat in the Hat: I shall indeed
The Cat in the Hat: When you've mislaid a certain something,
Keep your cool and don't get hot.
Calculatus eliminatus is the best friend that you've got
Calculatus eliminatus always helps an awful lot
The way to find a missing something is to find out where it's not
It isn't here. I'll mark this "X." It isn't there.
I'll mark that "Y.
" It isn't underneath the apple. Mark the apple "HKI."
Conrad: It isn't in this keyhole
Sally: It isn't on my knee
The Cat in the Hat: Mark the keyhole "K-300." Mark the knee "5-7-B."
We just jot down all the places where it isn't and gee
Whiz--very shortly we will locate where the missing object is
Conrad: (spoken) It isn't here
The Cat in the Hat: 842-J
Sally: It isn't there
The Cat in the Hat:
F-607--You can mark the piano "22,000-decimal point-11."
Sally: It isn't in the icebox
Conrad: It's not on this TV
The Cat in the Hat: That's strange
When you mislaid a certain something, keep your cool, don't go to pot
The Cat in the Hat and Kids:
Calculatus eliminatus is the best friend that you've got
Kids: Calculatus eliminatus always helps an awful lot
The Cat in the Hat: The way to find a missing something
The Cat in the Hat and Kids: Is to find out where it's not
The Fish: Look at this house!
The Fish: Look at this! Look at that! This uncouth, barbaric,
Pompestuous lout! He should not be here when their mother is out!