Lyrics Be a Better Man (feat. Bishop Lamont & Blue Raspberry) - Apathy

I've been sinning since I was seaman swimming fiending to be born
Didn't respect women, my wisdom wouldn't be formed
Till my father dropped knowledge on me, now I'm so torn
Read the Bible during day, then at night I watch porn
I need to transform, take the bull by the horn
But it's hard when I'm hard and the pussy look warm
It's harder when I'm broke and that coke make money
Even harder when I'm hungry and there's air in my tummy
My outfit is bummy, I try to avoid greed
But this money in my pocket give me everything I need
The hoes and the clothes take a toll on my soul
But the soles in my Nike Air bubble got a hole
And my goal is the gold then the silver but I'm told
That it's old and a platinum grill will keep your drink cold
31 years old and I'm still being controlled
By the devils on the television eating at my soul
I'm ducking 5-0, get a slut to try blow
Listening to Lil' Wayne on my stere-stereo
A sinner, I know, but I figure I'll grow
One day when I'm grey and my life goes slow

I'm trying to be a better man
Trying to do the best I can
Trying to come up with a plan, fuck the money in my hand
Gotta find a way to pull my soul up out the garbage can
Depression is a motherfucker
I said depression is a motherfucker
Can't understand how, don't understand why
Wake up sometimes feeling like you wanna die
Chest all heavy
Mind all froze
Bullet in your brain
Suck some pills, overdose
Looking at the bottle, do you really want to take 'em?
Think it over all night, in the morning DJ AM
Afraid to live
Afraid to die
Can't tell if God listening, it's hard to yell that high
So you hit him on Skype, can't get no reply
Yet the devil live next door always waving hi
Is he punishing me?
Is he running from me?
Is God real, are y'all just fucking with me?
My prayers don't get answered, my life is in a slump
I'm a walking portapotty, whole world take a dump
My friends ain't shit, cause I ain't shit
And the bitch that I'm with, she really ain't shit
And you are what you eat, so she's really a dick
You good for nothing slut
But she keep me warm
Make me feel like I'm alive when she lay in my arms
Even though it's all a lie cause she don't want to go home
This ain't love, it's more of a convenience
So we pretend we in love, in real life we don't see it
Pull a Sixth Sense and just cover our eyes
Hope the ghost go away that keep haunting our lives
But you know it don't stop, it's never gon' cease
Will you find peace of mind or just rest in peace?
I'm trying to be a better man
Trying to do the best I can
Trying to come up with a plan, fuck the money in my hand
Gotta find a way to pull my soul up out the garbage can