Lyrics I IV - Christopher Ma

When the lights come on
And she sees the first time
I can feel the loss
Before she even leaves the room
I'm an entity
A vessel for experience and nothing more
"I am free," I tell myself
Imagine it
Self-sufficient life away from judging eyes
How long until the breakdown
This life
Is this how it feels to have got the losing side?
Is this what it means to give up?
Well, just let me -

So what if I did?
Met him on the bridge and lost myself that night
I don't need you telling me
On the interstate
180 K.M.H. you drift away
Out of body into space
Imagine it
All suffering condensed upon our backs
Drifting, drifting off
This life
Just let me breathe

When the lights come on
And the silence deafening I realize
Who will notice when I'm gone
I'm lost again
Wandering the street I can't remember when
I last got that feeling
I imagine it
Gazing out the streetcar in a quiet trance
Her voice returns to me and says
"This life
Is this how it feels to have got the losing side?
Is this what it means to give up?"