Lyrics Hell in the Hallway - Datin

*Sigh*
Tsk, little nervous about this one bro
It's like once it's out there,
It's out there and you can't take it back
And it just makes it more real
Maybe I don't want it to be real
Here goes nothin':

Yeah, pen and pad in front of me, I don't know where to start
What is the type of beat to vent on and share your heart?
Usually, I write so you can receive
But this time this song'll be more than rebutic for me
Check it, 6 years ago I say goodbye to New Jersey
And move to Florida
To marry my bride in a hurry
Though it was a sad revise for me 'cause I was deserting my fam
I did it for the type of love that i have been yearning
Fast forward to present time now I'm in my 30's
Reading over divorce papers to sign and it's hurting
Come up with a plan to acquire the earnings
I need to file, I might even have to hire attorneys dag
I thought she was my ride or die on this journey
But I was wrong, 'cause she looked me in the eye and she sternly
Told me she wants a divorce it felt like a knife was inserting
Into my heart. I was tossed aside like I wasn't worthy
And my mind we was working
I was providing and serving
My love for her was like an all consuming fire that's burning
I guess my efforts fell short 'cause the tide have been turning
Now I wrestle self doubt thinking i'm undeserving
Of love. That's embarrassing to admit
Maybe I'm being too transparent with you on this
She's gone but it's like she hasn't loosened her grip
It's time for me to get this tat removed from my wrist
And erase her name
'Cause even as I write this rhyme I'm reminded
Of her every time I look down it plagues the brain
Then the mind plays a game
Of only replayin'
Good memories not prepared to keep me in this state of pain
My fans have fight for us to sing along
But more than that I had hope the message bring her home
But the fight's over 'cause i'm swinging at air see
It takes 2 to box and shorty left me in this ring alone
And I've been playin' pretend
With my friends
And family to ask "hey, how you've been?"
I give 'em that "aye ok" cliche but within
I'm battling depression and the temptation to sin
My flesh is screamin' let the self medication begin
This feast on the plate of lust and then chase it with gin
But I can't
Because I know what awaits in the end
An addiction that would keep me trapped in this state that i'm in
So I Fight!
My knees are calloused from my time in prayer
I'm asking God to deliver me from my despair
It's more that I can bear
God, I need answers then I hear him tell me
Open up your bible and you'll find it there. Yeh
Then I find clarity in 1 Peter 5:7
It is in there i read, I can cast my anxiety on him
He cares for me
If ever there's a need
My father said he'll be there indeed
And man I need him now more than ever
I'm feeling down and my heart is severed
But as I continue to read all I can do is believe
That he's just and he gon' work all of this out for my better
I heard my dog say
That when one door closes
Another will open but its hell in the hallway
And it's still a long way
Until i reach that open door
But while I'm in this hell i'll be giving my God praise