Lyrics Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin - Epic Rap Battles of History

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
ASH KETCHUM!
VERSUS!
CHARLES DARWIN!
BEGIN!

Darwin wants to battle?
Doesn't seem like a fight
But this should be fun
I've yet to catch the ghost type
Got the highest speed stat
Drop raps lightning fast
Open my pockets and go
Charizard, on your ass

Cause i'm Ash
And that's A to the "shush"
I don't care how many
Beetles and butterflies you squoosh
Your earthworms can't beat
These magical beasties
Your shit talking mouth
Is the origin of feces

You got candy raps
Reese's Pieces
In this ecosystem
I'm the dominant species
When it's time to train
I turn to Pikachu
But when i need a weak verse
I choose you

Hello there
Welcome to a world called Earth
Where actual minds
Do ground breaking work
If you're looking for the fittest
I'm the natural selection
You're so ineffective
You couldn't even turn 11

What you spit's just not hard hitting enough
It's kids stuff
You're soft like a Jigglypuff
You got no Game Boy
So you'll get the broom quick
The real Ash packs a much bigger
¡Boomstick!

I'm a masterful naturalist
What I've glimpsed will outclass all the crap
On your laughable list
My research reversed the first words of the church
You measure your worth by the sales of your merch

Yo, ummm real quick
This dude spent 8 years
Studying barnacle dick
Kick it
You think I'm impressed
By your boat trip please
You're the most annoying
Thing on a Beagle since fleas
You're a glitchy old man
Best left out at sea
Set sail and Galápago
Suck on these

Look, Mighty Morphin Michael Vick
Your animated slave fights make me sick
When i battle a foe,
From so simple a beginning
I'm not Charles Sheen
But I am Dar-winning

Man, if that's true
Then nature is cruel
Cause the only thing you're winning
Is your cousin's gene pool
You lost three children
While they were still small
TB and scarlet fever
Gotta catch 'em all!

It took millions of years
For mankind to evolve
Now they're hunched over cell phones
Playing with your balls
And it was hard
Losing my daughters and their brother
As hard as the wood that Oak gave your mother

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!