Lyrics Dad Jokes - ExP

Telling jokes like a Dad is a must
Sold my vacuum cos it was just gathering dust
Russell's a great name for a man in a bush
And at the moment I'm reading an anti-gravity book
And it's impossible to put down
It's no small feat but I still set up a shoe shop for't clowns
Don't do anything in Velcro though, it's a total rip
Plus I don't like footie I just watch it for the kicks
But I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed
Ordered a chicken and an egg online. I'll let you know
Nothing humerus about the funny bone
Bees have sticky hair cos they use a honeycomb
Got a good joke about construction, but I'm still working on it
Schwepped my missus off her feet when she first had tonic
Think you're a real rock star but have you heard of comets?
Forgot this comfortable keyboard it's errrrgonomic

Proper let down when my office chair broke
They're grizzly, but I've got bear jokes
In denial that I sold pyramid schemes to pharaohs
And I was outstanding in my field as a scarecrow
When Hitler got summat in his eye he could nazi
I stand corrected, I shouldn'ta sat in that seat
Nothing to chauffeur the fact I used to drive a taxi
Da brie everywhere after the explosion at the cheese factory
And that nacho cheese
Get your hands off that mate, it's nacho cheese
And, how dairy ignore my lactose needs
C Major improvement removing black note keys
To cut a long story short, I went into editing
After finding male choirs... menacing
If a Belgian is phlegmish then give him Benalyn
I've never trusted atoms, they make up everything!

I don't watch soaps and I don't tell lyes
A guy who wrote knock knock jokes won the No Bell prize
This photon checks into a hotel, right
Did it have any luggage? Nah, it was travelling light
When the mimes went on strike it was a mutiny
People celebrate a monarch's reign, would jubilee
I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me
Indigenous Americans get Apache beard during puberty
Got tinselitis when I ate a Christmas ornament
A weatherman got into the mafia cos of all the fronts
My school shooting jokes are aimed at a younger audience
I'm watching a live stream of a fly fishing tournament
I've haddock up to here with the fish puns
Two thieves stole a calendar, both got six months
If a fox has a cough, give her Vicks, son
Do you have to planet when you make a solar system?

Was beside myself when I found my clone
Got a cold call: they sneezed and put down the phone
This joke went over my head it was about a drone
Flat earthers have got believers all around the globe
In Spring I'm so excited that I wet my plants
That massive circus fire was in tents in fact
Soda pressing when I used to make Pepsi Max
So I quit to make burritos, yo check these wraps
Let me tortilla, yes these days
Village people always ask, "Why MC, ey?"
Well I tell them, I'll do hip-hop till my hip op
But I won't get with the times. TikTok
My nuclear computer's from a fission chip shop
Do F one drivers spray under their arms in a pitstop?
Nerds love music and we diss jocks
Scared the birds off the feeder was laughing my tits off
A Yorkshireman shirked work, did he get paid owt?
The first person to shred cheese, what a grate shout
Collapsed on a luggage carousel but slowly came round
And exit signs are on the way out