Lyrics Murder By Numbers - Frank Zappa

Alright
Now, this afternoon on my way down the elevator
We stopped at the lobby
And I wasduced to a man
Named Sting who I′d never met before
And, he's a very nice man
And he came to the show tonight
And I just talked to him in the dressing room
A little while ago and I said
"How would you, Mr. Sting
Like to come up on stage and perform with us?"
Now
How′s this time?, It's not in my nature to
Kick a man when he's down.
When I saw the first part of the show
I realised I had to come up here and tell you something
Well, four years ago Jimmy Swaggart said this about me
He said this here song by The Police
Murder by numbers was written by Satan
Performed by the sons of Satan! Beelzebub!
Lucifer! The horned one!
I wrote the fuckin′ song, alright?
Once that you′ve decided on a killing
First you make a stone of your heart
If you find that your hands are still willing
Then you can turn a murder into art
There really isn't any need for bloodshed
You just do it with a little more finesse
If you can slip a tablet into someone′s coffee
Then it avoids an awful lot of mess because
It's murder by numbers one two three
It′s as easy to learn as your A-B-C
Murder by numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn as your A-B-C
Now if you have a taste for this experience
And you′re flushed with your very first success
Then you must try a twosome or a threesome
And you'll find your conscience bothers you much less
Because a murder is like anything you take to
It's a habit-forming need for more and more
You can bump off every member of your family
And anybody else you find a bore
Because it′s murder by numbers one two three
It′s as easy to learn as your A-B-C
Murder by numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn as your A-B-C
I said murder by numbers one two three
It′s as easy to learn as your A-B-C
Murder by numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn as your A-B-C
Murder by numbers A-B-C-D-E
Mr. Sting! Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Sting!
Thank you
Murders by numbers
And then suddenly