Lyrics I'm More Broken Than I've Ever Been - IIIA

Look I'm at the stage in life
Where the stage is life
Could hit the left road but
I was raised on Spikes joint
I did it right
Bright like the tip of candle wax
On a lonely path
Tell these corporate ghoul
To kiss my nyash
Pinning tales on themselves
Every quarter I triple the wealth
I have dreams of red suns setting on red sand
I must be growing maturer
In this game of thieves and liars
I read ya cap
Like the head of Thomas Sankara
Bought my main a Chanel bag to Baggage the trauma
Young, broke and tasteless
Morning Sanskrit prayers
Coke left me faceless
I've come a long way from
Being a manic roulette player
Designer suit sent gift wrapped from a Belgian tailor hmmm
I think I'll wear my Dashiki instead
Graduation in three days
We ain't minor, we majored
Could have been the college dropout
Late registrated
Momma, healthy
Lil sis hair long like river Nile
If I could feel happiness, this the part
I'd crack a smile
I think I'm growing colder
More disconnected
More or less, I think business
And pleasure made me apathetic
I don't open carry my emotions
I conceal em permanent
Never regulated, ain't no checking me
So if you catch a stray
Fuck it. You deserved it
I thought 48 karats
Would hide the lack of purpose
I'm on a roof top listening to Xenia's Magic Trix
Sixty-five emails, thirty-four missed calls
And one-hundred and two unopened messages
I take the sunrise in and write another death note
You say I'm too emotionally one note
Why you never call
Why you disappear for months
Why you asking questions
Lemme disappear and roll my blunts
We grew up in a lonely castle
My roses all had thorns
My friends all had coffins
My mentors, dead and gone
I think life is a prison
I think my body a prison
Irony is
I'm only free behind these bars

Look man
I do this for my people
The prodigal son
The the artistic sequel
The shape of jazz to come
The war where no gun is drawn
The outline comes alive
The crime scene was not meant to survive
I am not a product of my environment
I'm the product in the environment
You fiend for conscious thought
I just supply it man
The lust sustained
The fortune framed
The picture unclear
What a time to be young black
And queer
So cavalier he got one hand round a gun
But his words ammunition so
He don't speak with fear
Apathy means
I am a poltergeist to parlay
Same old, same gold
Tell the divine it can rob me of my life
As long as my spirit enjoys the getaway
Ghetto lullabies
Eternal melancholy of the spot filled mind
The nightmares, eclipsed fury that Malice held in rhyme
The concierge asks me where home is
I tell him home is a coffin
Unfortunately, I live
We held bravado
Before apathy stole the hope
Bloody fist
The pavement punches your feet with every step
My phone rings, incessant
I am spoiled beyond belief
Beyond reason
Grapes fall into my mouth
Blood dribbles down the cheek
Life is killing me

Three years from the time of this verse
I'll probably be dead
More successful and wealthy than I'd I've ever expect
I knew where I was headed when I Chose this path at fifteen
This is a tragedy
You just don't know it yet
See I'm in an industry where emotion is commodity
In utero you serve servants, no apologies
She says
Fuck me right here, right now
I need you
I tell her look
I can put you on my schedule
Come on, don't pout boo
You and I both know
I'm worth the wait
Spent a months rent on taxi's just to get away
Told my main spin the globe
No photos. We'll get away
Self-expression is a game of consequence
And I got nothing to lose
See, I got nothing but my mama's smile
And all these blues
So I hop in the homie whip no license or registration
Nearly crashed it, split old blood on my New kicks
Order a quartet just to Seranade me for a lil bit
Double back to the jeweller
Drop a stack for wrist
But here's the plot twist
I'm more broken than I've ever been
I'm more broken than I've ever been
I'm more broken than I've ever been
I'm more broken than I've ever been
I'm more broken than I've ever been
I'm more broken than I've ever been
I'm more broken than I've ever
I'm more broken than I've ever
I'm more broken than I've ever been
Some people think I'm talking about a particular lover,
Or person in my life
But the truth is
You are every fistfight I ever got into
Your are the concrete that split my skull
And bled my thoughts onto these cruel Streets for the first time
You were my first kiss as we held hands In the cinema
The first ever rounding applause I got
The first of many
The first time on stage
I think I've been addicted to you ever since
I think I've loved you
Before I even knew what you were
You're mine
But I'll never forget
I am eternally yours
I'm yours

This voodoo music
For your entertainment
Blood moon
Christ's body
I'm the most disloyal changeling
A thousand words
I sacrificed, to make this painting
Heaven's work
For all the hell I've taken
No debating who's ill
I'd rather be the cure
Fentanyl flows
Scratch the needle
Inject what's pure
Baby I just need you to know
I just need you to know
I just need you to know
Where you're going
You'll never be alone
I just need you to know
Where you're going
Where he's going
Where she's going
Where they're going
Baby I just need you to know
Where you're going
You'll never be alone