Lyrics Expectations - Kyahn Ely

Expectations, I hold high
Hold them higher than the sky
I want to be successful
But I know I'm a mess though
I think of a life of grand
But a lot of shit I don't understand
I can't comprehend the world around me
But I guess I'll have to wait and see what life holds
I don't know how to grow up
I'm on hold
I stay alone in my room hoping to go out soon
But it's sad really
I don't have friends that hang out with me
I'm hopeless
But I guess I'll be fine stalking my friends online

I comment to be noticed
That is my true motive
But it's not for the attention
It's just for the affection
I want to stay right by your side
But expectations make me cry
I think I will fuck up and you'll start to lose my trust
People say they like me
That I do not see
I think I'm worthless
I think I'm like the rest
I have nothing to offer except love
But who bothers
It's super sad I know
But that's not all I want to hold

I like girls
That's kinda cliché
But what's the point
They think I'm gay
Expectations that I have always turn sad
'Cause I know I'm not a heartless
In fact, I have a huge heart
But every time I think of love I know it will not start
Girls never liked me
They only date from pity
I try to be a nice guy but girls don't like nice guys
So I'll stay single
But I'll still try to mingle
Just in case one comes along and helps me rethink life

Life is something special
But I know I'm not special
I know I'm not owe anything
But I would like something
I keep taking L's when I just try to help
But that's how it's supposed to be
I guess it's just me

And every time I'm around I struggle to make a sound
I'm so nervous
I'm so sweaty
Vomit on my shirt already
But I push through
I move on so they know I'm not gone
But it's like I'm not there
Like I'm just a bunch of air
But at least I feel included
But this is so convoluted
I don't know if they like me
Oh man, I hate anxiety
I open my mouth and sigh
Everyone asks me why
I didn't mean to
I'm so sorry
Then I go back to being quietly

I tell a joke here and there
But everyone just stares
I know I'm not that funny
But I still try comedy
And every time that I try I happen to just cry
No one seems to laugh
And that makes me sad
I fail every time I try
It doesn't matter what I try
It will always end badly
Always making me sadly
But I'll be fine
I'll be okay
I don't need to be saved
I just wished I was better than me
But whatever

I'll keep working on myself
Hopefully, I leave the cell I built for myself
And make it out of this hell I made from expectations
They're kinda like Satin
Hopefully, I feel better
But I guess it'll be whatever