Lyrics It Doesn't Get Better Than This - Marc Shaiman

[Wilbur:] [Spoken-] "Tracy, my little petunia, even I used
To get discouraged about the future. Luckily, I had a
Wonderful family to turn to."

When I was a tot not much older than three,
My father would sit me on his one good knee.
He hacked and he coughed from those three packs a day,
But he still found the lung-power to say:
"Ohhh, the... future looks dark, may be troubles ahead.
You at least have tomorrow but I may be dead."
Then he yelled from the can taking his final piss:
"Kid! it doesn't get better than this!"

[Wilbur:] [Spoken-] "Feel better, Tracy?"
[Tracy:] [Spoken-] "Um... Sorta..."
[Wilbur:] [Spoken-] "Alright, then, listen to this!"

My mother loved dope, and tobacco she'd chew.
Each morning at breakfast she'd knock back a few.
She walked me to school with her eyes shiny red;
I can still smell her breath as she said:
"Ohhh, the... future looks bright, Wilbur, don't make a fuss."
Then she stepped off the curb, and got hit by a bus.
So, don't wait for the future. It's all hit or miss.
Kid, it doesn't get better than this.

Oh, No! Don't count your troubles. Things may take a turn for the worse.
Life keeps sticking you up, till' they're picking you up in a hearse. Oh, Nurse!

My uncle wore raincoats though it never rained.
He showed off the lining, till' someone complained.
When he got arrested, he said: "What the hell!"
And he wrote me this note from his cell:
"Ohhh, the... future looked grim when the judge gave me life,
But I've hung up my raincoat 'cause I found a wife.
Yes, Herman and I live in pure wedded bliss.
Kid, it doesn't get better than this."

Sooo, your... future looks bleak and you can't find your smile.
Baby, life's just a joke, why not laugh for a while?
Now, how 'bout a hug? Give your old man a kiss!
[Tracy:] [Spoken-] "Daddy..."
'Cause it doesn't get better than this.
No, it doesn't... get better... than this...