Lyrics 17 - Rayan

At 17 this shit happened
Though I wasn't with that street shit
Walked back from school
Always kept that tunnel vision
I didn't look at no direction
Always kept to myself
Knew a lot affiliated
Acted like someone else
Mean it's crazy how much banging I heard
Heard them shots taken
But I'd brush it off like nothing happened wore a straight face
Until that day in winter
When I was minding mine
You wanna know how I became this
I'll take you back to that time

See the block was hot
One of the homies at the time
Had gotten into it with ops
And then that escalated quickly
To exchanging plenty shots
And lucky got his shots to drop
And then he vanished
Left behind the mayhem on the block
No one could manage
And know they wanted him
But know they knew not how to track him And that's when all this shit
Had got its start
Now here's what happened
Just another day
And politics is all the same
Just going about my way
With not a reason to complain
Shit is crazy
In a second life could change
Because at that very second
Felt something follow me
A car that's packed and creeping
Then out the passenger seat
This dude jumps out
And starts interrogating
Hand on his his heat
Ay yo
Yo check it that's the guy right there
Oh this punk?
Man pull up on him
Yow I'mma fuck his life up
Watch this
Ay yo
Yo
Yo tell your bitch ass man his luck's up man
Yo yo yo chill man
Fuck you muthafucka
Then he cocked and let it blast
2 shots he put inside me
Had me flat out on my ass
Got me looking at the clouds
With all them thoughts that start to flash
Shivering but the bullets
Had balanced out the thermostat
Saw the nice things that they always talk about
I saw the light and felt the breeze
And paradise felt close to grasp
And then my eyes fade away
8 months later
Heard a woman saying welcome back
Woke up in hospital bed
With hella strings attached
My vision blurry
Felt a fucking burden in my back
But something burned inside of me
And Then manic attacked
Had me weeping like a child
On what I did to deserve this
I'm doubting everybody
Everything
And even it's purpose
Ditched them crutches within weeks
And with my limp started lurking
Searching for the one that shot me
To inflict the same hurting
Or even worse
And man them thoughts
They wouldn't end
But shit I came out to the news
The blocks had chose to make amends But since nobody went all out
When I got shot to go avenge
Ain't no muthafuckin block gotta say on me in that sense
Went and got my ass a glock
For the sake protection
The Moment I grabbed it
I knew the reason in its possession
Started rolling around
Like I was crazy on a mission
Bout to take off
But my rocket fuel was my aggression
Eyes wide open
Now I'm gazing in all the directions
Till I saw this dude
Walking alone up to my left
And something inside of me
Said to go and ask him the question
So I hit a U turn
When I reached the intersection
And I parked right by the side walk
Just a couple yards ahead him
While I'm staring at his face
A spark goes off inside my head
And I remembered he was riding back seat Day I got hit in
Adrenaline starts to hit
And now I'm grabbing all of my shit
And now I'm jumping out of the drivers seat
One hand clinched to a fist
The other is on my heat
With premeditated intentions.
Yeah I just left the studio Ma
I'm finna grab some milk
And come back home
You ain't gotta worry bout it
Wait
That's when I caught my first body
Saw him die but not a spec of remorse Moved inside me
Wished to drop on the porch
Of the mother of dude that shot me
Just to show him what I was
And what I currently embody
How I went from a good kid
Now what am I
Went from seeing all the lights
When I was about to die
Now I'm probably bound to hell
To me I see no difference
Shrapnels still burn in my body
And my head is twisted
But what's done is done
Now this is how I'm living
But what's done is done
Now this is how I'm living

At 17 that shit happened
Though I wasn't with that street shit
Walked back from school
Always kept that tunnel vision
I didn't look at no direction
Always kept to myself
Knew a lot affiliated
Acted like someone else
Mean it's crazy how much banging I heard
Heard them shots taken
But I'd brush it off like nothing happened wore a straight face
Until that day in winter
When I was minding mine
Wanted to know how I became this
I took you back to that time