Lyrics Baby - Stephen Lynch
This
is
for
my
little
girl.
My
lady
gives
birth
today.
I
run
to
her
room
right
away.
She
smiles
with
glee
and
hands
her
to
me.
I
look
at
my
newborn
and
say:
Damn,
that′s
a
ugly
baby!
Damn,
that's
a
ugly-ass
baby!
I′m
feeling
quite
concerned,
My
semen
must
have
turned,
'Cause,
damn,
that's
a
ugly
baby.
I
can′t
believe
this
came
from
me.
I
think
her
mom
did
too
much
LSD.
She′s
skinny
like
a
twig.
At
least
her
nuts
are
big...
But
the
placenta
is
cuter
than
she.
Damn,
that's
a
ugly
baby!
God
damn,
that′s
an
ugly-ass
baby!
I
can't
take
her
home
today,
She′ll
scare
the
dog
away,
'Cause,
damn,
that′s
a
ugly
baby.
And
when
she
smiles,
I
find,
Shane
McGowen
comes
to
mind.
It
makes
me
want
to
cry
When
I
look
into
her
good
eye.
I
always
wanted
kids;
Is
it
wrong
to
hope
for
SIDS?
(Fuck
you,
it's
my
fuckin'
baby!)
Then
the
doctor
calls
me
in.
"Mr.
Lynch,
she
has
a...
twin."
Damn,
that′s
a
good-lookin′
baby!
One
for
two
on
the
good-lookin'
babies!
I
almost
start
to
weep.
Now,
this
one
we
can
keep,
Cause
that
was
an
ugly-ass...
Damn,
that′s
a
ugly
baby!
(C'mon,
everybody,
sing
along!)
Damn,
that′s
an
ugly
ba—
(Sing,
fuckers!
Come
on!)
Damn,
that's
an
ugly
baby!
(Whoo!)
Damn,
that′s
an
ugly
baby!
She's
got
one
good
tooth,
and
one
ear,
and
one
eye,
And,
thank
god,
just
one
nose—but
it's
on
her
left
thigh.
Now,
doctor,
I
am
asking
you,
guy
to
guy,
Would
a
really,
really,
really
late-term
abortion
still
fly?
Oh,
no!
(My
baby!)
Not
me!
I
don′t
want
no
ugly
baby!
I
said,
damn,
that′s
an
ugly
baby.
Damn,
that's
an
ugly-ass
baby.
Thank
you!
Goodnight!
Attention! Feel free to leave feedback.