Lyrics Hoist up the Thing - The Longest Johns
Fresh
out
of
college
with
grades
straight
from
Hell
I
browsed
for
a
trade
at
which
I
could
excel
An
ad
for
a
ship
in
need
of
some
manning
Men,
sails,
and
purpose,
but
lacking
a
captain
What
luck,
says
I,
to
find
such
good
fortune
A
few
white
lies
later,
I
ran
down
the
pier
Bought
me
a
coat
and
a
cutlass
or
two
Jumped
on
the
deck,
and
I
yelled
at
the
crew
Hoist
up
the
thing!
Batten
down
the
whatsit!
What's
that
thing
spinning?
Somebody
should
stop
it!
Turn
hard
to
port!
(That's
not
port?)
Now
I've
got
it!
Trust
me,
I'm
in
control!
I
can't
sing
the
shanties,
it
has
to
be
said
And
all
of
that
grog
just
goes
right
to
my
head
Whale
meat
is
gross,
and
I
miss
a
girl's
laugh
Five
weeks
at
sea,
even
Dave
seems
a
catch!
Hoist
up
the
thing!
Batten
down
the
whatsit!
What's
that
thing
spinning?
Somebody
should
stop
it!
Turn
hard
to
port!
(That's
not
port?)
Now
I've
got
it!
Trust
me,
I'm
in
control!
We've
hit
icy
waters,
no
land
to
be
seen
The
food's
getting
low,
and
the
beer
has
gone
green
There's
murmurs
of
discontent
under
the
deck
If
I
don't
act
fast,
it
could
be
my
neck!
So
pull
up
the
charts
and
those
weird
gold
machines
I
see
what
it
says,but
no
clue
what
it
means!
Just
pull
on
some
levers
and
yank
on
some
chains
Feign
a
bad
back
til'
we've
landed
again
Hoist
up
the
thing!
Batten
down
the
whatsit!
What's
that
thing
spinning?
Somebody
should
stop
it!
Turn
hard
to
port!
(That's
not
port)
Now
I've
got
it!
Trust
me,
I'm
in
control!
Hoist
up
the
thing!
Batten
down
the
whatsit!
What's
that
thing
spinning?
Somebody
should
stop
it!
Turn
hard
to
port!
(That's
not
port?)
Now
I've
got
it!
Trust
me,
I'm
in
control!
Come
on
Hoist
up
the
thing!
Batten
down
the
whatsit!
What's
that
thing
spinning?
Somebody
should
stop
it!
Turn
hard
to
port!
(That's
not
port?)
Now
I've
got
it!
Trust
me,
I'm
in
control!
Hoist
up
the
thing!
Batten
down
the
whatsit!
What's
that
thing
spinning?
Somebody
should
stop
it!
Turn
hard
to
port!
(This
is
jail?)
Now
I've
got
it!
Trust
me,
I'm
in
control!
(ahh,
help
me!)
Trust
me,
I'm
in
control!
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