Lyrics The Old Dope Peddler - Live - Tom Lehrer

You are no doubt familiar with songs about the old lamplighter
And the old umbrella man and the old garbage collector and all
These lovable old characters who go around spreading sweetness
And light to their respective communities. But, it's always seemed
To me that there is one member of this happy band who does an
Equally splendid job, but who has never been properly recognized
In song or story, and this is an attempt to remedy, at least in
Part, that deplorable situation.

When the shades of night are falling
Comes a fellow ev'ryone knows
It's the old dope peddler
Spreading joy wherever he goes
Ev'ry evening you will find him
Around our neighborhood
It's the old dope peddler
Doing well by doing good

He gives the kids free samples
Because he knows full well
That today's young innocent faces
Will be tomorrow's clientele
Here's a cure for all your troubles
Here's an end to all distress
It's the old dope peddler
With his powdered ha-happiness