The Dog Song

You know, if dogs could sing,
Here's a song that might be sung by one of man's best friends:

She said "I'm tired of being treated like a dog
I'm outta here"
When I heard these words it really made me
Perk up my ears
Now I know she's been mistreated,
But what she said is wrong
If he had treated her like a dog
She'd a-never gone

If he had rolled around and played with her
On the floor down in the pen
Taken her for nice long walks
Given her a bath and then
Dried her off, rubbed her tummy
Scratched her behind her ears
Well I bet you a bag of Ken-L Ration
That she'd still be here

If he had only treated her like a dog
Well happy ever after would have been their Everlong
She'd never strayed away from home
She'd wagged her tail and tagged along
If he had only treated her like a dog (like a dog!)

Now he calls me Prince, treats me like a king
And when it comes to her I don't know why
He can't do the same doggone thing

Like wash her bowl and water dish
Each night like he does mine
Compliment her, give her
Little treats from time to time
Let her out all on her own
Every now and then
Why I'd have some stiff competition
To be that man's best friend

If he had only treated her like a dog
Well happy ever after would have been their Everlong
She'd never strayed away from home
She'd wagged her tail and tagged along
If he had only treated her like a dog (like a dog!)

If he had only treated her like a dog