Текст песни Good Advice - Allan Sherman
I
know
a
man
named
Otis,
who
invented
a
room
And
his
heart
was
filled
with
pride
I
said
to
Mr.
Otis,
"What
does
your
room
do?"
He
said,
"It
goes
from
side
to
side"
So
I
said,
"Mr.
Otis,
if
you
take
my
advice
You'll
be
the
richest
man
in
town
You
gotta
take
that
room
that
goes
from
side
to
side
And
make
it
go
up
and
down"
And
that
was
good
advice,
good
advice
Good
advice
costs
nothing
and
it's
worth
the
price
I
sincerely
doubt,
that
the
world
could
do
without
my
good
advice
Sir
Isaac
Newton
came
around
to
my
house
one
day
His
face
was
all
sunburned
and
red
He
said
he
didn't
want
to
sleep
in
the
shade
of
a
tree
Because
an
apple
might
fall
on
his
head
I
said,
"Sir
Isaac,
you
dumbbell,
take
my
advice
Go
right
back
there
and
sleep
beneath
that
tree
And
if
you
let
that
rotten
apple
fall
down
on
your
head
Why
you'll
discover
gravity"
And
that
was
good
advice,
good
advice
Good
advice
costs
nothing
and
it's
worth
the
price
The
world's
a
better
place,
since
I
gave
the
human
race
my
good
advice
A
man
named
Mr.
Waterman,
invented
a
tube
He
was
sad
because
it
sprung
a
little
leak
He
said,
"Darn
it,
when
I
hold
my
tube
on
a
piece
of
paper
The
ink
leaks
out
and
makes
a
little
streak"
He
said,
"I've
gotta
find
a
way
to
stop
that
leak
I'll
start
working
on
my
leak
proof
tube
again"
I
said,
"Waterman,
you
idiot,
don't
stop
that
leak
You
just
invented
a
fountain
pen"
And
that
was
good
advice,
good
advice
Good
advice
costs
nothing
and
it's
worth
the
price
I'm
so
worldly
wise,
I
should
get
the
Nobel
Prize
for
good
advice
Good
old
Henry
Ford,
he
was
a
hardworking
man
He
worked
all
night
and
all
day
I
said,
"Henry,
watcha
doin'?"
And
Henry,
he
said,
"I'm
inventing
the
Chevrolet"
He
said,
"I've
already
built
twenty-five
models
One
for
each
letter
from
A
to
Z"
I
said,
"Henry,
you
fool,
there
are
twenty-six
letters
in
the
alphabet
He
said,
"Good
heavens,
I
forgot
the
Model
T"
And
that
was
good
advice,
good
advice
Good
advice
costs
nothing
and
it's
worth
the
price
It's
fruitful
as
can
be
and
it's
absolutely
free,
my
good
advice
Wilbur
and
Orville
were
two
brothers,
named
Wright
The
nicest
pair
of
kids
you've
ever
seen
They
worked
twelve
years
on
a
secret
project
They
thought
it
was
a
washing
machine
I
said,
"Fellas,
what
are
all
those
wings
for?"
They
said,
"For
hanging
clothes
out
to
dry"
I
said,
"You
fools,
take
that
washing
machine
out
to
Kitty
Hawk
And
see
if
the
darn
thing'll
fly"
And
that
was
good
advice,
good
advice
Good
advice
costs
nothing
and
it's
worth
the
price
I'm
so
smart
that
I'm
gonna
win
a
Guggenheim
for
good
advice
One
more
time
Benjamin
Franklin
was
a
charming
old
man
He
was
always
flying
his
kite
One
night
I
said,
"Benjy,
why
ain't
you
out
with
your
kite?"
He
said,
"Because
it's
raining
tonight"
I
said,
"Benjy,
sweety,
you
go
right
back
out
there
And
to
your
kite
string,
tie
a
key
This
may
shock
you,
Benjy,
my
boy
But
that's
electricity"
And
that
was
good
advice,
good
advice
Good
advice
costs
nothing
and
it's
worth
the
price
I'll
re
model
you,
if
you'll
only
listen
to
my
good
advice
Ooga
Magoog
was
a
Neanderthal
man
A
very
poorly
educated
soul
He
had
a
great
big
square
thing
made
of
solid
stone
And
in
the
middle
of
it
was
a
hole
One
day
he
had
to
go
from
his
cave
in
Natchez
To
his
uncle's
cave
in
Mobile
I
said,
"Round
off
those
corners
And
buy
a
set
of
tires
And
Ooky
baby,
that's
a
wheel"
And
that
was
good
advice,
good
advice
Good
advice
costs
nothing
and
it's
worth
the
price
Harvard
offered
me
a
Phi
Beta
Kappa
key
for
good
advice
Sigmund
Freud,
he
had
an
unfurnished
house
He
was
a
very
nosy
fellow,
so
it
seems
he
had
no
chairs
So
he
made
all
his
friends
stand
around
all
day
And
tell
him,
all
their
secrets
and
their
dreams
Well,
while
they
stood
there
talking
'till
they
got
fallen
arches
They
yelled,
"My
feet
are
killing
me,
ouch"
I
said,
"Sigmund,
don't
you
realize,
you've
got
a
gold
mine
here
Go
out
and
buy
yourself
a
leather
couch"
And
that
was
good
advice,
good
advice
Good
advice
costs
nothing
and
it's
worth
the
price
Every
word
you're
told
will
be
eighteen
karat
gold,
that's
good
advice
Alexander
Graham
Bell
was
building
a
fence
With
some
wood
and
a
long
piece
of
wire
He
said,
"There's
something
strange
going
on
around
here
I
keep
hearing
the
voice
of
Uncle
Myer"
I
said,
"Mr.
Graham
Cracker",
that
was
my
little
joke
"With
that
wire
you
got
the
world
in
your
palm
Just
get
a
mouthpiece
and
an
earpiece
and
a
piece
in
between
And
you'll
sponsor
The
Telephone
Hour"
And
that
was
good
advice,
good
advice
Good
advice
costs
nothing
and
it's
worth
the
price
Every
word
ya
hear,
is
the
message
of
the
year,
it's
good
advice
Christopher
Columbus
was
a
seaman
second
class
When
I
told
him
that
the
Indies
could
be
found
By
sailing
to
the
West
instead
of
sailing
to
the
East
I
advised
him
that
I
thought
the
world
was
round,
I
really
thought
so
And
then
I
sent
him
down
to
ask
good
Queen
Isabella
To
pawn
her
jewels
for
all
their
worth
Next
day
he
set
sail
and
as
everyone
knows
He
fell
off
the
edge
of
the
Earth
And
that
was
bad
advice,
bad
advice
Bad
advice
is
just
the
same
as
good
advice
Everybody
makes
occasional
mistakes
and
that
was
bad
advice
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