Текст песни Hell's Greatest Dad - Colm R. McGuinness

Looks like you could use some help
From the big boss man himself
Check out Daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp
Five star, flawless, greater than great

With a punch of this right hand
Wap-bap-boom, alakazam
Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb
But you get the family rate

Who needs a busboy, now that you got the chef?
Michelin tasting menu, free à la carte
I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref
Champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just a start

Who's been here since day one?
Who's been faithful as a nun?
Makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun?
Your executive producer

I'm your guy, your day-to-day
Your chum, your steadfast hotelier
Remember when I fixed that clog today?
This accent is really difficult

I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond
You're like the child that I wish that I had
I care for you just like a daughter I spawned
It's a little funny, you could almost call me Dad

They say when you're looking for assistance
It's smart to choose the path of least resistance
Others say that in your needy hour
There's no substitute for pure angelic power

Who just happens to also be your blood
Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud
They say the family you choose is better
What a bunch of losers
Can you butt out of my song? Your song? I started this
I'm singing it, I'll finish it