The Wompom

You can do such a lot with a wompom,
You can use every part of it too.
For work or for pleasure, it's a triumph it's a treasure
Oh there's nothing that a wompom cannot do.

Now the thread from the coat of a wompom (the thread)
Has the warmth and the resilience of wool (just like wool)
You need never wash or brush it, it's impossible to crush it
And it shimmers like the finest sort of tulle.
So our clothes are all made from the wompom
Modern garments, sportswear, lingerie (Going up)
They are waterproof and plastic, where it's needed they're elastic
And they emphasize the figure as you see.
Hail to thee, blithe wompom, hail to thee O plant!
All-providing wompom; universal Aunt.
You can shave with the rind of a wompom (Really?)
And it acts as a soapless shampoo
And the root in little doses keeps you free from halitosis
Oh there's nothing that a wompom cannot do.
Nothing that a wompom cannot do
Nothing that a wompom cannot do

Now the thick inner shell of a wompom (Change key!)
You can mold with a finger and thumb
Though soft when you began it it'll set as hard as granite
And it's quite as light as aluminium.
So we make what we like from the wompom
And that proves very useful indeed
From streets full of houses to the buttons on your trousies
With a wompom you have everything you need.
Gaudeamus wompom, gladly we salute.
Vade mecum wompom, philanthropic fruit
Oh the thin outer leaf of a wompom (outer leaf)
Makes the finest havana cigar
And its bottom simply bristles with unusual looking thistles
But we haven't yet discovered what they are
You can do such a lot with a wompom
You can use every part of it too
For work or for pleasure, it's a triumph it's a treasure
Oh there's nothing that a wompom cannot do.

Oh the flesh in the heart of a wompom
Has the flavour of porterhouse steak
And the juice is a liquor that will get you higher quicker
And you're still lit up next morning when you wake.
Wompom, wompom, let your voices ring.
Wompom, wompom, ever more we sing.
To record what is what in a wompom
Needs a book twice as big as Who's Who.
I could tell you more and more about this fascinating flora
You can shape it you can square it
You can drape it you can wear it
You can ice it you can dice it
You can pare it you can slice it
Oh there's nothng that a wompom cannot do
Nothing that a wompom cannot do
Nothing that a wompom cannot do.