There's Nothing Proud About Me

I'm not stuck up or proud, I'm just one of the crowd
A good turn I'll do when I can
A local doctor one night needed something put right
And he wanted a handy man

There's nothing proud about me, I dashed round as quick as can be
A girl on the couch said "I'm fearing the worst
Had I better take just a few things off first
I think I need overhauling", I answered, "So I see

But first of all the truth I must tell
I've called to look at your front street door bell
But I don't mind if I overhaul you as well
There's nothing proud about me

"Out in Persia one day, that's a long way away
I found that I hadn't a cent
For a bed then I thought, well the Sultan's a sport
To his palace at once I went

There's nothing proud about me, I'm fond of good company
The harem was full up with wives of all kind
I said, "I'm sure room for me they can find
The Sultan need not be jealous, a good lad I will be

One hundred wives he's got so it's said
There must be some place to lay down my head
I don't mind turning in at the foot of the bed
There's nothing proud about me