Big Ten

Two old ladies were sitting on the grass
One shoved her finger up the other ones Oi!
I had a girl the other night
Just as the day was dawning
A crowd came by and they joined in
And our case comes up in the morning
(Well there's no sweat anyway I'm the
Judge. I'll try 'em one like the other)
Dread and I were sitting in the bath
Dread blew off and made I laugh
(Ooh look, bubbles)
Old Mother Riley she got drunk
She fell on the fire
And she burnt her Oi!
(I reckon it must have been too much Guinness. Silly old cow!)
In days of old, when knights were bold
And ladies weren't invented
A knight drilled holes in telegraph poles
And he had to be contented
(If he'd have asked me I'd have give him a tin opener)
A girl who lives next door to me
Sunbathes on the lawn
I'd be over the garden fence
And I'd always get the (Horn Sound)
(Tally-Ho!)
My latest girl is slightly deaf
With her it's never heaven
Her conversation's rubbish
So I always cop a deaf'un
(Well ya comin' darlin'?
Ey?
That's what they say, too much makes ya deaf
What?)
Well I think I'll got take the wife's tights off
They're making my legs itch!