Текст песни Suicidal Thoughts - Lil JJ Reynolds

Ahh, life has been so weird to me lately, bro
It's like, I don't even feel life anymore, ya know?
Crazy thoughts, ya

I'm suicidal in my thoughts, as I write my thoughts on the page
I'm poisonous in this life, my brain wants to give the death a taste
Praying to God for forgiveness if I fail his testaments
My genesis is me (Beginning to lose hope)
The future's expensive, I would love to pay but I'm too broke
My dirty, bloody mind needs to be cleaned with some blue soap
But therapy to me is writing what I'm going through in my notes
Using my body, as a shield for my pain
Depression from this bipolar is fucking killing my brain
Pills changing, still I'm insane and I'm feeling twice as deranged and
I pay the price from the pain, then I start to hate life, it's draining
I can't be nice to these strangers, if I do, they'll reel me in
Time is ticking for these nuts and bolts to combine and drill me in
As I begin to throw tantrums and start screaming at the walls
I feel my body dissolving from all my suicidal thoughts

I just feel like fucking dying, dying
I'm giving up from fucking trying, trying
Music's playing, but I'm fucking crying, crying
Like la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

I don't feel like living no more, (Nah)
I'm sick of always feeling so low, (So low)
I'm dying and nobody knows, (Nope)
Suicidal thoughts

Social anxiety is trapping me away from my sanity
(Understanding me) is critical cause people can't stand me
I never had a big family or friends
Just fatal snakes that ran me to the ground to be planted
Deceased away from this planet
I needed help but my conscience told me to suffer alone
I listened cause I've been deserted by busters, I've been a loner since then
I'm not okay, but I feel okay to pretend
The biggest flag from people's mouths is when they say "let's be friends"
Oh, how I fell for that over, over and over again
I was like the prey to them cobras that would eat my skin from within
Young and confused, that confusion would make me feel dumb in school
Demons would tell me "maybe school isn't the one for you, fool"
Dealing with bullies, situations that were hard to fight through
Imagine "not bothering a soul" and people still wanna fight you
Cause they don't like you, I feel you cause I've been through the cause
I feel my body dissolving from all my suicidal thoughts

I just feel like fucking dying, dying
I'm giving up from fucking trying, (From trying)
Music's playing, but I'm fucking crying, (I'm crying)
Like la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

I don't feel like living no more, (No more)
I'm sick of always feeling so low, (So low)
I'm dying and nobody knows, (Nobody knows)
Suicidal thoughts, (Thoughts)

I've been suicidal for so many years, but I've always kept it to myself
Because getting help in this world comes with a price
It comes with criticism, it costs too much money
And if you don't have money, then it's fuck you, you know what I'm saying?
It's so much dilemma in this world
When it comes down to someone struggling with mental illness
You got those people that say "they understand it"
But they really don't understand it
And then you got those people that don't try to understand it
But quick to say that "mental illness isn't real"
Either way, you can't win and it becomes so difficult
For that person that's struggling with mental illness
Because they'll feel suffocated and they'll feel misunderstood
Disconnected, disrespected by everyone else
That person starts to feel like the only escape is death
Those are the kind of thoughts that go through a mind of a suicidal person
And mental illness needs to be taken seriously
Or this is going to keep happening over and over again