Worn to Be Seen

I am Jack's sense of rejection
I suck my finger, it stings
He puts his hand on the shoulder
And says a million stupid things

I hear he's backwards and inbred
I hear he's all kinds of things
I put my head on the table
And think a million stupid things

I just want answers to questions
And no-one knows what its worth
To see a chink in the armour
But I want more than this

I hold it in
I hate that grin
But it's all good
That smile is worn to be seen

When faced with all of my demons
I ran as fast as I could
For shelter in my own ignorance
Like any normal person would

And you might label me indolent
If you didn't know me too well
You would say I have a problem
And I'd say "Go to hell"

When I am free
It will be sunny forever
And I can say that I feel fine
Sitting here doing nothing
That smile is worn to be seen

Still I can't forget what you told me
I can't forget what you said
I can't stop seeing a target
Painted on the back of his head

Why does he smile when he sees me
And wave as he passes by?
Who doesn't he know what he represents?
Why is that?
I don't get it