Текст песни Wenn Haifische Waren Menschen - Süp127

Uncle Soup, uncle Soup, uncle Soup, can you tell me a bedtime story please?
Fuck that, I ain't Slick Rick
Well, what would it be like if sharks were like humans?
If sharks were like humans? Oh, wenn Haifische waren Menschen?

If sharks were like mankind, they'd build big boxes in the ocean
They'd put all the little fish inside, and to keep from causing commotion
They'd stock it up with food and make sure there was fresh water
The little fish would see this as good, like lambs lined up for the slaughter
And if a little fishy got hurt, they'd be sure to bandage his fin
Because as long as they prospered, none would think of revolution
And to keep the fishies' spirits high, they'd have huge water festivities
Because as no shark will deny, happy fishies taste better than sad fishies
They would also build schools, so they could teach them geography
That way those eager learning fools could memorize where all the sharks' jaws be
They'd teach ethics and moral education, that the best most beautiful thing for a fish
Is sacrificing their life for the shark nation, and never questioning any wish
And the poor fish would follow for sure, told it's best for their future
That their prosperity is only assured with complete obedience to their butcher
They would tell the fish to watch each other, and report any signs of suspicion
Any betrayal would be early discovered, accused of selfish, greedy Marxism
If sharks were men, they would wage war, to conquer other fish boxes with their armies
They'd teach silence so soldiers never question, "What for?", and to love to hate their enemies
They'd say to prevent any dissent, that there were enormous differences
That if they spoke it was impossible to understand other fishes with foreign languages
And the best little fishy got some new pins if they killed a couple foreigners
The title of Hero wherever they swim, an honor that is great and enormous
They would have art is sharks were men, with shark's teeth in magnificent colors
Jaws portrayed as plush gardens, pure splendors, pleasures, and wonders
The theater at the bottom of the sea would show enthusiastic actors
Swimming into jaws gracefully, accompanied by beautiful orchestras
If sharks were men, there would be religion, which preaches proper life to be acquired
By living strictly free of sin, dying in shark's stomachs when desired
If sharks were men, equality could not exist, big fish would be treated better than small fish
Promoted to higher positions and offices, satisfied bribed with unfair privileges
The sharks wouldn't mind, they've still got the biggest portion
To keep the smaller fish in line, the bigger fish would ensure the order
Even shorter, if sharks were like men
They would for the first time, bring this horrid culture to the ocean
The end

That's it? I don't get it...
It's a good thing sharks aren't like men, huh?
Huh, what do you mean?