Текст песни A Responsible Drunk Looks For A Ride Home - TurtleFrogMan
I've always thought of myself as a man who could stomach his liquor
It's not the sort of distinction my momma had in mind for her son
They tried to steal my car keys but I was in no mood to bicker
And now my conscience is burdened with terrible thing that I've done
The combination of bar food and bourbon overwhelmed me with sickness
And with my head out the window, I felt a thump and heard an animal cry
Before the cops could arrive, I sobered up with my usual quickness
But I didn't mean for that little boy's golden retriever to die
But I shall ignore the second chance I've been given
Tonight I've had one to many so I'll arrange to be driven
How about a toast to my health and some change to make the telephone ring
There's got to be someone who'd help a man do the responsible thing
I'd call a taxi cab but I'm unemployed and could barely afford it
Whatever meager amount I came in here with's already spent
I'd call my wife but she's in bed with our landlord and it's best I ignored it
She's lonesome, he's young and good looking and we're behind in our rent
I'd call an old army buddy of mine, it would be worth the bother
It's sad to see a young man panhandle in an army fatigue
I'd call my daddy but he still tells everyone, he's not my natural father
Which was a source of embarrassment for me when I played little league
I'd call my momma but hell hath no greater fury than when that old woman meddles
Haven't you heard the expression: leave a sleeping dog be
Oh and speaking of which, I'd call my dog but he can't reach the pedals
And he was friends with that golden retriever, so he's not speaking to me
Alas, my pool of acquaintances, so quickly depleted
Perhaps the long journey home on foot is just what I needed
I could use the night air and the long overdue chance to think
Of why someone as happy as I am is so in need of a drink
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