Out in the Middle East

A fellow in the forces was writing a letter
From somewhere in the East, talk of a blinking feast
He said "It′s just like Blackpool sands, we play with hand grenades
If we had known we would have brought along our buckets and spades
Out in the Middle East you can have a lot of fun
Out in the Middle East by the Mediterranean
Join the forces, they used to say, and see the world it sounds O.K
But you see now't but sand all day, Out in the Middle East
And when you′re hungry, they never serve you up some hot-pot
You never get a gentle breeze a-blowing round your what-knot
On your heads you've hats like saucepan lids
You take off your well I never did's
It gets a bit hot round the pyramids Out in the Middle East
Out in the Middle East you can have a lot of fun
Out in the Middle East by the Mediterranean
The ladies don′t wear too much gear, it′s much too hot for that I fear
You ought to see what we see here, Out in the Middle East
And our old sergeant, a little lad who comes from Preston
You'll hear him singing "Bless ′em all" with nothing but his vest on
Our fat old cookie, Corporal Platt, is now as thin as a cricket bat
The sun got at his lump of fat, Out in the Middle East
Out in the Middle East you can have a lot of fun
Out in the Middle East by the Mediterranean
The Tattooed lady, what a gal, she lives down by the Suez Canal
For twopence she'll show you the Taj-Ma-hal, out in the Middle East
That girl is tattooed all over for your close inspection
The officers say "Gad sir, what a nice schoolgirl complexion"
On her chest there Winston can be
Found and, if you care to look around
There′s Goering's mug where she sits down,"Out in the Middle East