Lyrics One Hippopotami (The Hippopotamus Song) - Allan Sherman

One hippopotami cannot get on a bus
Because one hippopotami is two hippopotamus
And if you have two goose, that makes one geese
A pair of mouse is mice. A pair of moose is meese
A paranoia is a bunch of mental blocks
And when Ben Casey meets Kildaire, that's called a paradox
When two minks fall in love, with all their heart and soul
You'll find the plural of two minks is one mink stole
Singulars and plurals are so different, bless my soul
Has it ever occurred to you that the plural of "half" is "whole"?
A bunch of tooth is teeth. A group of foot is feet
And two canaries make a pair--they call it a parakeet
A paramecium is not a pair
A parallelogram is just a crazy square
Nobody knows just what a paraphernalia is
And what is half a pair of scissors, but a single sciz?
With someone you adore, if you should find romance
You'll pant, and pant once more, and that's a pair of pants!