Lyrics Loungin' in My Jammas - Gray Fox feat. Tyler Falls & Josh Cook

I woke up and then I had to throw up
Work really needed me but you bet I didn't show up
My girlfriend and me broke up
Sorry I'm a little choked up
That alcohol I drank last night still got me fucked up but that's not the whole story, right
You want those details - the real reason that I felt like just killing myself without healing myself
Leaving myself stuck in a hell that I could not get out
Well listen up if you really gotta read my walls
I'll tell you about all the paint that I put on my walls, how I neglected to keep shit from scraping up my walls
The saturation faded
I can't get out these walls
Sorry, I digress
It's just a lot of shit that I've been keeping in my chest like that time
I couldn't breathe while driving through traffic or that time that I panicked putting groceries in a basket
It was like carrying pieces of me in a casket
The Shining some Ritz Bits and a couple of fabrics
The worst part of it all was that that's just the surface
These demons are fervent and my head's so perfect for them
I know because they tell me
They tell me a lot of things and get truthful when it's heavy
They tell me when I'm full of shit, tell me when I need a hit, tell me to drive my car into a pole or ditch
And sometimes I like to listen, other times I like to shut them up with some liquid
Man, I'm addicted
Sick and afflicted
I place that on my ex, I didn't confess I was convicted
She couldn't save me from myself and now she's nowhere to be found
She won't make a sound and never comes around and I guess I need some solid ground 'cause...

I guess I'm here for something more
I guess I need to be assured
I guess I need somebody to tell me I'm not going crazy, I'm fine
I guess I'm here for something else
I guess I need to fix myself
I guess I need to finally figure out how I can get me some help

I made it a point to always figure it out
Always to be the one that never needed a hand out and I convinced myself that it was all in my head
That I'm a malingerer and I'm better off dead
Better off in bed staring at the ceiling fan
Loungin' in my jammas and counting down my lifespan
My hands are cold and ripe
My limbs are clenching tight
Death Cab singing me to sleep, praying it's my last night
'Cause I know she's not coming back
I think I'm becoming a paranoiac defined by prozac, thoughts dripping in a melting pot
Building clots like dental plaque
All black
Panic attacks: the one constant in my life, ganged up with a night in and some whiskey on ice
Sometimes in a shot glass, bringing up a hot flash
Alcohol is plummeting; it's warmer than the last batch
So where is the atonement after losing your composure when the structure built was golden?
When the love of your life suddenly becomes your opponent?
Your disease became potent and you couldn't fucking own it and you're left there just roaming
While the furniture is broken and the walls you painted up and now molded and eroded
I'm holding onto the little bit I've got left: a heart in a mangled rib cage in a bruised up chest

There's no one that understands me
I feel like I'm pulling out teeth just to keep moving along
I know I cannot stay here
Maybe we're all lost and we're just learning the cost of thinking we had it together all along
I guess I'm here for something more
I guess I need to be assured
I guess I need somebody to tell me I'm not going crazy, I'm fine
I guess I'm here for something else
I guess I need to fix myself
I guess I need to finally figure out how I can get me some help