Lyrics what's... pain? - Merc!

Can someone please explain
Why do I feel so empty?
Has the world changed my brain chemistry
Or am I growing up too fast, I see

Knowing outcomes to situations
Makes me realize that it'll never end
Have I learned not to care no more
Or has my spark closed its doors?

Time flies by
My heart and brain ask me why
That I had to make this change
I didn't want it that way

Feels so bright
When everyone thinks you're always light
But you know that you're not that way
Cause they don't know about the pain

In this life
I pray and pray that all this comes right
Because it's not fair
To deal with this growth all the way

Tell me now
Can you live on, time could tell me how
And if you think that it'll move on that way
Can you tell me, what's pain?

I could fall a thousand times
Could forever run away
I was too young to understand
That life is not all sunshine and rainbows
And now I am mostly quiet all the time

If I could rewind time
To stop the effect of the butterfly
And look at the clouds, it's halo
Shines so bright

Tell me why
My will to live hasn't died?
I keep looking for all the signs
That here comes in this life

Knowing that I could've stopped it all
But now that it's all over (I'm numb)
I still feel the pain