Lyrics my mind's toxic - Pyrrhic

If you took a tour of my mind, I swear you'd throw up
I'm fucked up in a million ways and I never shut up
And when I try to fall asleep, I be feeling so stupid
I lie up my bed and my dreams are never lucid
Like everything else in my life, it's out of my control
And I was lying when I said that I was sitting here alone
I was flirting with the loser that I kept inside my basement
It shares my fucking name and it loves the high I'm chasing

I don't really feel like doing these downers anymore
But if I take a drink, I'm always one to overpour
My head is only straight when it been bouncing off the ceiling
It might like look like I feel great but just know I hate this feeling
I'm 20 shots deep screaming take me now
Will you take me far away from this maddening crowd?
Everybody acts the same I should know my place
See it branded on my face but still you hear me say

I'm a letdown
I'm a fuck up
I'm a crazy one
Imma die young
I don't wanna talk
I don't wanna speak
And I don't wanna see you cry when I take my fucking life

Chilling on a Sunday and I can't seem to relax
I'm walking through pews and I think I'm about to relapse
On this depression
All this aggression
You said you wanted truth well this is my confession

Work my fucking ass off I don't even feel like trying anymore
I don't even need a mattress I've been crying on the floor
I put on my favorite actress when I'm walking out the door
When I walk out the door

You say I should get out I should really see the trees
I smile like a sellout but I really wanna leave
I wish I could enjoy it I don't wanna be me
I don't wanna be me

I lost the space I feel nauseous
I fall apart as they watch it
I'm not the one my mind's toxic
I wish that I could be flawless
You come around just be cautious
I told you once my mind's toxic
It folds on me without logic
I held it once and I lost it