Lyrics Three-Legged Man - Ray Stevens

Well, now friends you'd never guess it so I really must confess it
I just met the sweetest woman in my long dismal life
But a friend of mine said "Buddy just in case your mind is muddy
Don't you know that girl you're
Fooling with is old Peg-Leg Johnson's wife
And that man is hard and cold and mean and grim
And he'll brain you with his artificial limb!"

But next morning bright and early I stole old Peg-Leg's girlie
And I also took his wooden leg just to play it safe
But there weren't no time for laughter 'cause he started hopping after
Now I keep on running faster but he won't give up the chase
So now I'm running through the mountains with his bride
And I got his wooden leg right by my side.

Now I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
Being chased by a one-legged fool
Oh he's hoppin' and he's floppin' but he shows no sign of stoppin'
I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel.

'Cross the deserts and the valleys and the dark Chicago alleys
'Cross that mighty Mississippi to the hills of Caroline
'Cross the mountains of Montana to the swamps of Louisiana
Every time that I look back he's just one leg behind
And I know he must be cold and wet and sick
But in spite of all his woes he still can kick!

Oh I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
Being chased by a one-legged fool
Oh he's hoppin' and he's floppin' but he shows no sign of stoppin'
I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel.

Now he's ragged and he's filthy and I'm feeling kinda guilty
Specially in the evenings when I hear him plead and beg
He says in spite of all your
Stealing friend I bear you no hard feelings
You can keep the blamed old woman, just give me back my leg!
'Cause although that leg you meant to take was wooden
In the dark by mistake you took my good 'un!

Now I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
Being chased by a one-legged fool
Oh he's hoppin' and he's floppin' but he shows no sign of stoppin'
I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel.

Yes I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman
Being chased by a one-legged fool
Oh he's hoppin' and he's floppin' but he shows no sign of stoppin'
I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel.