Lyrics HELP - Part 1 - Rhxs

I could drop one million verses
About my brothers that got left in horses
About my life when I was feeling worthless
Everyday I woke up I was feeling cursed and I never really fit in anywhere that I went
Still I always battled everyday got spent
Just trying to survive in my own damn head
Swear I was damaging panicking
Man couldn't hack it and
Man was a manager but man wasn't managing
But I had my lyrics equipped I was brandishing
Hoping a label would see and they bring me in
Lyrics I'm rambling
Fact that I'm standing here handling
Didn't get lifted off brandished as
I was just left in the dirt still managed it
Wouldn't of thought back then that I'd handle it
I was in the dark but had light with my candle lit

I could of blown years ago but they cancelled it
And they cancelled me
I got three years just for spitting on the beat
Wasted so much time I could of owned the scene
But now I know the scene
And now you notice me
Now I know that my times coming overseas
I'm gonna master beats until I'm on with Meekz
Until I've bossed this scene getting paid all week
Now I'm booking flights going Mozambique
The covid lockdown that we had was peak
Now I'm going ham every day every week
Going to keep on going going to keep on flowing
Keep on growing and keep on showing
Show these other artists who's blowing
I'm a one man boat and I'm always rowing
Don't need no free kicks or no throw ins
Dont need nothing no way that I'm slowing
I'm a one man team score goals like Owen
Back then wish that they took this toe in
Now I'm glad that they left me growing
Left me all on my own no poem
Now I done this solo I can show em

Took a few years off
Because I caught that case
Didn't watch no time
Didn't watch no face
I was on that wing
But I still made cake
And the day that I left
Had the whole wing blazed
Don't chat to me mate
You're a straight up case
Moving fast now I'm putting on brakes
Shower down scenes like firing plates
I was dying in vein

I've been misled to believe
That all my pain and all my grief
I can't even look between these lines or even recognize me
This pain inside my life
Don't know why I'm not surprised
It's like a lie inside a lie so please just try and tell me why

It's all forgotten when you're lifeless
So what's the point now what's worth fighting
I don't know now and I'm frightened
I just want this fucking life and
I just want to make it right and
All the pain I've left behind
I left it all to try get signed
I left it all to try and find
Do it again that's on my life
Because this music keeps me high
I swear this music keeps me tight
I swear this music keeps my right
I been designed and realigned to try and speak what's on my mind
To try and look between the lines
I really went and made it right

And now I'm trying to move it better
And now i've really got it locked
Yeah all this pain inside my heart
Man when the fucks it gonna stop